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Chimp victim

Matt Foley

By Matt Foley,
in Huddle Lounge

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Matt Foley Newbie

Matt Foley

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That, sir, is an orangutan.

Common theme with all these chimp attack stories? Old woman, old man, helpless child. I'm not any of those. Chimp-human attacks are relatively common and documented cases number in the dozens (if not hundreds). They always involve women and children - but more commonly - unattended children. In all the cases of chimp violence - they never mess with young, healthy, adult males. I dare you to find a documented case.

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There was a story about just such a case in Vanity Fair about six months ago. Guy had a chimp and it was taken away. He went to visit it on some chimp rescue whateveryacallit and two or three other chimps attacked him. Guy was an ex-football player. They did pretty much the same thing to him that this one did to Charla Nash.

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Johnny Rockets Rookie

Johnny Rockets

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One guy was left with his eyeballs, but his balls were ripped off - given a choice, which ones would you rather lose?

My wife took away my balls years ago so I'd rather have my eyeballs.

I think the story Meat was talking about was in Esquire magazine and I think it was in California. Chimps name was Moe and he was one bad Moe Fo'.

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