Does it matter?

[MountaineerChemist10]

So I'm 33 years old, planning on seeking my Masters in Forensic Drug Chemistry in the next year or two, possibly my Ph.D. Currently separated, will file no-fault divorce next Summer. Fortunately my ex-wife doesn't want anything but the sofa & our dog. Fine by me.

Currently, I have no children but would love to sometime in the future. My question is does it really matter at what age you have your first kid or two? Must I absolutely be married again? I ask because seeking my Masters & Ph.D will take some time. By the time i'm done, I might very well be in my late 30's/early 40's. Am I on a timeclock?! Feels like I am. What do you think?

I eat healthy about 75% of the time & workout 3-4 times a week, so staying healthy shouldn't be an issue.

[Jangler]

what color is the sofa?

[Arroz con Panther]

Everyone's different, but there is a clock no matter how healthy you are. None of us here are going to be able to answer this question for you. If you really want to wait to have kids, talk to a doctor and run some tests to see how long you have. Freeze those puppies if have to do so.

[thefuzz]

Just curious, why the extra education?  Job related?  Can you still work full time while pursuing those advanced degrees?

If not, I would wait until you can be financially responsible and take full care of a child, but that's just me.

I had buddies who had kids right out of high school, they are nearing on 18-20 years old now....that just wouldn't work for my need of security.

[LinvilleGorge]

I was your age when we had our first (and highly likely to be only) child. 

You're a guy so you have no biological clock. My sister in law was about 35 when she had her first and only child. Her biological clock loudly ticking in her ear has her trapped in a miserable loveless marriage because she desperately wanted to have children. My only advice - don't fuging do that.

[MountaineerChemist10]

2 hours ago, thefuzz said:

Just curious, why the extra education?  Job related?  Can you still work full time while pursuing those advanced degrees?

If not, I would wait until you can be financially responsible and take full care of a child, but that's just me.

I had buddies who had kids right out of high school, they are nearing on 18-20 years old now....that just wouldn't work for my need of security.

Seeking my Master's takes me a step closer to my dream job (Forensic Toxicologist) & checks another task off my bucket list. I currently work as a Chemist & yes, I could still work full time while pursuing my Master's. It's just a question of when.

[LinvilleGorge]

If you need that degree to get the job you want, go for it. If just getting the degree checks off a bucket list item, maybe ask yourself why it's so important to you to feel the need for that validation. I stopped pursuing my MBA for the exact same reason. I just felt I needed it for... well, some reason. That's a pretty dumb reason to take on a lot of student loan debt so I stopped.

[MountaineerChemist10]

26 minutes ago, LinvilleGorge said:

If you need that degree to get the job you want, go for it. If just getting the degree checks off a bucket list item, maybe ask yourself why it's so important to you to feel the need for that validation. I stopped pursuing my MBA for the exact same reason. I just felt I needed it for... well, some reason. That's a pretty dumb reason to take on a lot of student loan debt so I stopped.

I hear ya. A Master's is definitely something I would need to get my desired job. Most forensic chemists/toxicologists have at least a Masters, even a Ph.D. Becoming a college professor is also on my bucket list & most have at least a Ph.D. And no such thing as a "dumb reason"...most of the time.

I suppose it's better to be safe than sorry. A lot of people I know had kids right after college, some in their 20's, others now in their 30's. And every single one have said "Wait until you're ready". And I am no where NEAR ready. Just want to make sure I don't wait until it's too late...if that's even possible for a guy.

[Moose Hoover]

how does your boyfriend feel about it?

[LinvilleGorge]

15 minutes ago, MountaineerChemist10 said:

I hear ya. A Master's is definitely something I would need to get my desired job. Most forensic chemists/toxicologists have at least a Masters, even a Ph.D. Becoming a college professor is also on my bucket list & most have at least a Ph.D. And no such thing as a "dumb reason"...most of the time.

I suppose it's better to be safe than sorry. A lot of people I know had kids right after college, some in their 20's, others now in their 30's. And every single one have said "Wait until you're ready". And I am no where NEAR ready. Just want to make sure I don't wait until it's too late...if that's even possible for a guy.

We weren't either. Our daughter was absolutely a "whoops" situation. You get ready for it when it happens. 

Trust me, you're absolutely never going to be in a situation where you're like, "Hey, I really don't have much going on in my life for the next 18+ years, so now would be a GREAT time to have a kid!"

[Arroz con Panther]

For what it's worth, men absolutely have a biological clock; It's just not as early as women. Even if you can get someone pregnant later on in life your child has an increased risk of complications.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.sciencealert.com/men-have-a-biological-clock-just-like-women-and-it-affects-more-than-them/amp

[LinvilleGorge]

26 minutes ago, Arroz con Panther said:

For what it's worth, men absolutely have a biological clock; It's just not as early as women. Even if you can get someone pregnant later on in life your child has an increased risk of complications.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.sciencealert.com/men-have-a-biological-clock-just-like-women-and-it-affects-more-than-them/amp

I don't think it's a shock that reproducing in your physical prime is the best, but we're still talking about long shots for most of these issues. 1 in 47 chance if schizophrenia? That's a shade over 2% chance. I don't think an elevated risk of relatively rare issues is a valid reason to rush reproduction.

[thefuzz]

1 hour ago, MountaineerChemist10 said:

Seeking my Master's takes me a step closer to my dream job (Forensic Toxicologist) & checks another task off my bucket list. I currently work as a Chemist & yes, I could still work full time while pursuing my Master's. It's just a question of when.

If that's the case go for it, and worry about kids later, you have time.

[Arroz con Panther]

34 minutes ago, LinvilleGorge said:

I don't think it's a shock that reproducing in your physical prime is the best, but we're still talking about long shots for most of these issues. 1 in 47 chance if schizophrenia? That's a shade over 2% chance. I don't think an elevated risk of relatively rare issues is a valid reason to rush reproduction.

I agree that it's not worth worrying about that stuff and I'm not telling him to rush reproduction, but he asked. Another thing to think about is how old the woman might be when he's ready. He'll be a doctor by then, so maybe he'll have a woman in her late 20s/early 30s.