Marriage Advice

[PanthersBigD]

On 1/22/2019 at 11:12 AM, MountaineerChemist10 said:

Fortunately, we've been married for only two years. No joint bank account, no kids. Currently living in an apartment.

What's good is we've already talked about how we would like to split up our possessions, IF we separate & divorce. She's willing to let me keep most of everything. The furniture, tv, computers etc. She wants to completely start over.

What hurts me the most is the fact I was the only one there to support her when she needed it the most, & now she wants to divorce all b/c of some "hot guy"???!! fug that! I helped her make it through college, paid for about 70% of our wedding, helped her recover from depression & back on her own two feet, etc. Now she wants to leave b/c "she never had the chance to be single". WOW. 

So i'm just taking everything one step at a time. I'm over the fact she wants to be separate & divorce.

I am NOT over the fact she has the nerve to describe how hot he is, how she "loves me" but wants him, how she doesn't want to have kids with me but would love to have plenty with him, etc. All in my face.

FML

You are dodging a major bullet by ending this now. If she loved you at all, she would have already left, without trying to rip out your heart. If you love someone, you don't twist a knife in them like she's doing to you by oversharing about the guy at work under the guise of 'complete honesty.' Honestly your wife sounds unbalanced, which your depression comment seems to support. Most likely no one will ever be enough, and she'll chase guys that ignore her, and cheat on anyone unlucky enough to love her. She's not leaving you for a 'hot' guy. She's leaving you because she's unhappy with herself and she's trying every shortcut she can find to fix it. It's not that you're not enough for her; it's that no one is. 

As shitty as she seems, she's doing you a huge favor by setting you free. Sounds like you're already moving in the right direction, just keep moving forward and under no circumstances should you look back or ever entertain taking her back. 

I have several friends that have come through the other side of your exact situation. They're in happy marriages now, with happy families, and their exes are still bouncing around, chasing that dopamine rush that they've mistaken for 'love/passion.' 

 

 

[cookinbrak]

Call their HR department and ask about employee relationship rules. Then sue the living poop out of them for not enforcing them.

[Kevin Greene]

[thefuzz]

OP.

Are you taking steps yet?

[MountaineerChemist10]

3 minutes ago, thefuzz said:

OP.

Are you taking steps yet?

What up. Actually just met with my counselor today; already planning on separating in the next month or two. Just need to find a place to stay. We've both come to an agreement that going separate ways is best. Finalize the divorce next year after it's officially 1 year & a day (according to state laws). I'm taking most of the furniture & she's going to start over. She's going to continue pursuing this "guy" while I'm out having the time of my life getting laid every Fri & Sat night.

Even if she suddenly wants me back, I'm not buying it. If it happens once, it's going to happen again. It was fun while it lasted...but not really.

Thanks brothas for your awesome advice. I feel SO much better than I did weeks ago. I'll keep you updated if anything big happens.

Live long and prosper & KEEP POUNDING!

 

[Shocker]

1 minute ago, MountaineerChemist10 said:

What up. Actually just met with my counselor today; already planning on separating in the next month or two. Just need to find a place to stay. We've both come to an agreement that going separate ways is best. Finalize the divorce next year after it's officially 1 year & a day (according to state laws). I'm taking most of the furniture & she's going to start over. She's going to continue pursuing this "guy" while I'm out having the time of my life getting laid every Fri & Sat night.

Even if she suddenly wants me back, I'm not buying it. If it happens once, it's going to happen again. It was fun while it lasted...but not really.

Thanks brothas for your awesome advice. I feel SO much better than I did weeks ago. I'll keep you updated if anything big happens.

Live long and prosper & KEEP POUNDING!

 

Well done sir!  Congratulations and good to hear this is all working out.

[thefuzz]

17 hours ago, MountaineerChemist10 said:

What up. Actually just met with my counselor today; already planning on separating in the next month or two. Just need to find a place to stay. We've both come to an agreement that going separate ways is best. Finalize the divorce next year after it's officially 1 year & a day (according to state laws). I'm taking most of the furniture & she's going to start over. She's going to continue pursuing this "guy" while I'm out having the time of my life getting laid every Fri & Sat night.

Even if she suddenly wants me back, I'm not buying it. If it happens once, it's going to happen again. It was fun while it lasted...but not really.

Thanks brothas for your awesome advice. I feel SO much better than I did weeks ago. I'll keep you updated if anything big happens.

Live long and prosper & KEEP POUNDING!

 

Got all this in writing yet?

This all sounds good, but you or she needs to get out of there yesterday.  Hell, go stay in an extended stay motel, or with a friend, whatever.

And yes, she will run back to you, you need to make sure you are ready for that move.  Think 5 months after the split.

[PhillyB]

18 hours ago, MountaineerChemist10 said:

What up. Actually just met with my counselor today; already planning on separating in the next month or two. Just need to find a place to stay. We've both come to an agreement that going separate ways is best. Finalize the divorce next year after it's officially 1 year & a day (according to state laws). I'm taking most of the furniture & she's going to start over. She's going to continue pursuing this "guy" while I'm out having the time of my life getting laid every Fri & Sat night.

Even if she suddenly wants me back, I'm not buying it. If it happens once, it's going to happen again. It was fun while it lasted...but not really.

Thanks brothas for your awesome advice. I feel SO much better than I did weeks ago. I'll keep you updated if anything big happens.

Live long and prosper & KEEP POUNDING!

 

get it in writing and signed NOW.

[raz]

good for you buddy.  and you're going to have some days where you're just sad and broken.  its ok.  let yourself grieve.  just let it out without attaching thought or reasons for the grieveing.  those days will become less and less as you heal.   and get in shape. push yourself.  it will burn up a lot of anxiety, and you'll be hungry all the time, and life will be so beautifully simple.  have food ='s happy, no food ='s not happy.   its really that simple.   

[cookinbrak]

Don't go live in a bottle. Drink and socialize, but don't make a career of it.