Marriage Advice

[Raskle]

If the person in your life doesn't think you're the most attractive and beautiful person they can think of, then they don't love you to begin with. What it sounds like is that your wife wants to go "have fun" with her attractive co-worker, string you along, and maybe come back in a year. So, they might come back, just to repeat this process in another year, once they find some other guy who is more attractive/new/different/anything but you. Unless you want the next five to ten years of your life to be miserable, you need to cut ties.

 

Bounce man.. it'll be for the best in the long run. You deserve better than someone who might miss you if you separate.

[PhillyB]

15 hours ago, MountaineerChemist10 said:

Basically, my wife has fallen for another guy who she finds much more attractive than me. She thinks I am "cute", but do not turn her on in any kind of way. 

My wife confessed she didn't even want to get married in the first place, but was afraid to "hurt my feelings" & dump me before the wedding. She thought perhaps the wedding & honeymoon would spice up our relationship; she thought wrong. She feels she has never had a chance to "be single" & flirt with other men. Ever since HS, she's always been relationship-needy, always seeking a new b/f. When we first met, she was down & depressed & brightened her up by dating her. I thought she was interested in me b/c she wanted to date, possibly marry, start a family, etc. I thought wrong. She was simply looking for another shoulder to cry on & fell in love by accident.

She was hired by another company 2 months before our wedding & met a new co-worker, Brett (we'll use this name). She was instantly attracted to this guy; his physique, style, personality & swagger. Problem is she's now married to me & she feels she made a mistake. She wants to separate for a year & see how she feels. If she misses me & wants me back, she is willing to try marriage counseling. If not, then divorce.

Honestly, I have no fuging clue what to do.  

bruh. no kids? gtfo.

i have recently come out the other side of something somewhat similar. the backstory is all the same.

my biggest mistake was trying to save it. i was doing it for honorable reasons - i didn't wanna lose half my kid's life. i ended up losing a ton of property by not signing extremely favorable separation papers right away, and once the other dude she started dating got in her ear she started demanding far more. i still settled favorably but could've done way better if i'd recognized it as a loss sooner.

there is life on the other side of divorce. i didn't go nuts and play the field like most guys, but you have that option. my divorce has made me more thoughtful and choosy - you won't make the mistake of ending up with a woman like that again and your life will be better off for it.

theres also a chance you'll have the last laugh. my ex ended up with a guy six inches shorter than her, almost fully bald, anti-vaxxer with a napoleon complex and three kids from another marriage, IMMEDIATELY got knocked up and has her life set on a crash course. i got in the gym six days a week and put on thirty pounds of muscle and pursued some artistic interests that are panning out. currently going on dates with an insanely hot attorney that i consider way out of my fuging league and it's probably going to go somewhere. we're going to brazil together in a couple months.

this is all two years after my wife told me she was leaving me and i made a thread like this on the huddle as my world was crashing down around me. everyone told me let it go, everyone told me there is life after divorce. they were right on all counts. this will suck, it will pass, you will be fine.

get that gym membership.

[4Corners]

23 hours ago, MountaineerChemist10 said:

Basically, my wife has fallen for another guy who she finds much more attractive than me. She thinks I am "cute", but do not turn her on in any kind of way. 

My wife confessed she didn't even want to get married in the first place, but was afraid to "hurt my feelings" & dump me before the wedding. She thought perhaps the wedding & honeymoon would spice up our relationship; she thought wrong. She feels she has never had a chance to "be single" & flirt with other men. Ever since HS, she's always been relationship-needy, always seeking a new b/f. When we first met, she was down & depressed & brightened her up by dating her. I thought she was interested in me b/c she wanted to date, possibly marry, start a family, etc. I thought wrong. She was simply looking for another shoulder to cry on & fell in love by accident.

She was hired by another company 2 months before our wedding & met a new co-worker, Brett (we'll use this name). She was instantly attracted to this guy; his physique, style, personality & swagger. Problem is she's now married to me & she feels she made a mistake. She wants to separate for a year & see how she feels. If she misses me & wants me back, she is willing to try marriage counseling. If not, then divorce.

Honestly, I have no fuging clue what to do.  

If you don’t have any kids than at least the divorce won’t be hard on them. You will meet someone else. Get in the gym and update your wardrobe. 

[Jeremy Igo]

I separated last summer. Both had been unhappy for so long. Now I'm happier, she is happier, and the kids are fine, make sure they get even more attention from me than when we were together. All in all it was the best move for us. 

 

[lymelizzard]

Financial advice...........  Separate NOW,  inform local papers etc your no longer responsible for her debts.

[Paa Langfart]

On ‎1‎/‎19‎/‎2019 at 8:19 AM, MountaineerChemist10 said:

Basically, my wife has fallen for another guy who she finds much more attractive than me. She thinks I am "cute", but do not turn her on in any kind of way. 

If that is true you need to get the fug out of that marriage dude.  You will never be able to trust someone like that.  You have to have trust in a marriage or it isnt going to work.  period.  End of story.  Get out now and quit wasting your time.

[Moose Hoover]

You could watch...

[Ja Rhule]

That sucks.  Sorry to hear that.  It takes two to tango so if ur wife feels she needs freedom, let her go.

[MountaineerChemist10]

Thanks guys, I truly appreciate it. I'm scheduled to meet with my counselor next week for a check-up. So far, his advice has been to:

• Be single & independent
• Join a gym & work out
• Hang out with friends more often & make a few more
• Flirt with other women
• Learn how to cook more
• Start a new hobby or two (i.e. learn how to play guitar, read more novels, etc

So basically the same advice you've been giving me lol

[cookinwithgas]

The main thing I miss about being single is being able to travel where I want to mostly when I want to. Panthers announced London this AM, now I have a family to coordinate and pay for instead of just me or me and a g/f or whatever. When i was single I had a lot more options to choose from. If my friends want to split an AirBnB i am down with it but my wife and kids? maybe not....so travel!

[Anybodyhome]

Okay, now that I know the back story.... I take back everything I said.

So she finds someone else more attractive and thinks she wants to be with him. I get that- it happens.

But here's where it gets fugged up. She doesn't have the common courtesy and respect for you to keep her mouth shut. She's coming right out and telling you she wants to be with him? WTF? She's married to you- regardless of the situation, you don't talk about wanting, having, desiring someone else in the presence of your current spouse!!! How fugging disrespectful can you get?

GTFO now. The sooner you start your separation, the sooner it'll be over.

[Shocker]

32 minutes ago, Anybodyhome said:

But here's where it gets fugged up. She doesn't have the common courtesy and respect for you to keep her mouth shut. She's coming right out and telling you she wants to be with him? WTF? She's married to you- regardless of the situation, you don't talk about wanting, having, desiring someone else in the presence of your current spouse!!! How fugging disrespectful can you get?

GTFO now. The sooner you start your separation, the sooner it'll be over.

I totally agree with this...that is really about as mean a thing as you could do to another person.  That is horrible to tell your husband that.  Leave asap man.

[SOJA]

If what you say is true dude she's already over you. She's been getting emotional over you for probably years now. It's all happening at once for you, that's going to take time to emotionally process. But the sooner you leave and start working on yourself, the better off you will be in the long term. 

 

Also if she comes calling for you back when this new dude turns out to not be all that great just remember she gave up on you once and she will give up on you again once she finds a new fling. 

 

sorry that probably sucks to read and hear but you want people to be honest with you

[Cdw]

On 1/19/2019 at 8:19 AM, MountaineerChemist10 said:

Basically, my wife has fallen for another guy who she finds much more attractive than me. She thinks I am "cute", but do not turn her on in any kind of way. 

My wife confessed she didn't even want to get married in the first place, but was afraid to "hurt my feelings" & dump me before the wedding. She thought perhaps the wedding & honeymoon would spice up our relationship; she thought wrong. She feels she has never had a chance to "be single" & flirt with other men. Ever since HS, she's always been relationship-needy, always seeking a new b/f. When we first met, she was down & depressed & brightened her up by dating her. I thought she was interested in me b/c she wanted to date, possibly marry, start a family, etc. I thought wrong. She was simply looking for another shoulder to cry on & fell in love by accident.

She was hired by another company 2 months before our wedding & met a new co-worker, Brett (we'll use this name). She was instantly attracted to this guy; his physique, style, personality & swagger. Problem is she's now married to me & she feels she made a mistake. She wants to separate for a year & see how she feels. If she misses me & wants me back, she is willing to try marriage counseling. If not, then divorce.

Honestly, I have no fuging clue what to do.  

How long have you been married?  If you've been married for some time and have a good deal of joint property, you should hire a PI and see a lawyer, because she is probably already cheating if she is saying these things.  It sucks but, you need to look out for you.