Why Your Team Sucks, Panthers edition

[Carl Spackler]

1 hour ago, X-Clown said:

I am bumping this thread to post the Saints edition, because it's much better.

 

https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2018-new-orleans-saints-1828678549

That supplants (DIGGS) the 2009 Patriots (SIDELINE) one as (TOUCHDOWN) the best ever (UNBELIEVABLE)

[XOBlackxJokerOX]

"What might not suck: I goof on Cam, but thank God this team skirts every possible good medical practice to keep him out there, otherwise this would be piloted by Garrett Gilbert. You never want to become aware of Garrett Gilbert. His name is Garrett Gilbert. It’s like a spiritual anagram of Blaine Gabbert. AVOID."

 

This part had me cracking up though. 

[Chaos]

This guy might be SCP

 

Quote

Kyle:

The fanbase, which is 20% diehards, 30% corporate ticket holders, and 50% older folks/transplants who root for the Panthers as their second team, is too busy trying to buy Bojangles to get to the games on time, meaning our stadium looks like the StubHub Center for the 1^st quarter.

There’s a 50/50 chance that local idiots will make headlines for implying something vaguely racist about Cam Newton. Cam also types like his iPhone has every virus from the last 10 years.

In summary: fug Jerry Richardson, fug the transplants, fug Cam’s Instagram typing, fug NC state non-fans, and fug even years.