My bid to purchase the Panthers

[SCP]

So last week I went to the team store to buy a new coffee mug and to put in a bid to buy the Panthers. I had high hopes walking in and I am not accustomed to losing many negotiations. We haggled over price. In the end $2.3 billion is not much worse than $2.5 billion but I wanted a few things thrown in with the deal since the price was a sticking point.  I asked for some land to build a 3 acre area dedicated to the Roaring Riot tailgate experience. I was adamant about the team remaining in CLT as long as I’m alive. The NFL would have zero leverage in wooing me elsewhere.  The stadium is fine and I said I would not host a super bowl. Speaking of stadiums, the RoaringRiot would have one entire lower bowl endzone section free from PSL licensing so the Riot can make their presence felt in one large raucous area complete with vuvuzela’s and a large bass drum. Football is to be played outside on natural grass.I have 8 and 12 year old sons that would take over as owners when I finally die of a heart attack on the shitter in some remote town in central Canada.  I spoke with city leaders and they agreed to make every Panthers home game weekend an official Paint the Town Panthers event. Opposing fans could stay in hotel rooms but the council agreed to pass legislation that would prohibit the lame ass Epicenter from catering to locals that sell out the home team. They also agreed to pass legislation that would allow open containers throughout the city within the I277 perimeter on game at weekends. I also have numerous other plans to make B of A Stadium our home. For example, any PSL broker caught selling out entire sections of seats to opposing fans would lose PSL rights and I would sell those PSL’s to young and passionate Panther fans for pennies on the dollar.  But I digress. In the end JR didn’t want to sell to me because I like to stand and raise hell during the games. He felt selling to a yahoo like me, raised in the port city of Wilmington NC, purveyor of all great things Panthers, drinker of cheap beer, would not be wise.  So I bought a coffee mug and wrote a song about Norv Turner to the tune of Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up”.  Let’s hope we get a good owner.

[Moorgan]

Had this happened, I would've moved to Charlotte. But alas, I'll have to wait until retirement or the lottery. And if the latter happens, Roaring Riot gets a big boost.

[Jakob]

Lmao, please make sure you post this on twitter.

[chknwing]

your mug has a scratch.

[Growl]

I thought the Norv/Atsley line was a cheap joke and then to my surprise there's an entire song right there.

[SCP]

2 minutes ago, chknwing said:

your mug has a scratch.

Yea I noticed that when I got to the office but it was just adhesive 

[Mr. Scot]

You should tweet Voth and ask him how he thinks the other candidates are going to feel about taking part in phony interviews before the Panthers install Richardson's lapdog again.

Or ask why we didn't go to the routers having a consultant rather than a Richardson surrogate (Becker) a PR guy (Drummond) a lawyer (Argeris) and Rivera rubber stamp Hurney.

Three people with no experience whatsoever in football evaluation and one who's bad at it choosing the guy that's going to make our most important football decisions in the future...Only the Panthers could be happy about having such a dumbass arrangement as that.

[Jon Snow]

Welcome back @SCP.  Just in time for the crowning of old Hurndog once again.   You can't make this poo up.

[uncfan888]

You sitting on that much in tega cay? 

[SCP]

16 minutes ago, Mr. Scot said:

You should tweet Voth and ask him how he thinks the other candidates are going to feel about taking part in phony interviews before the Panthers install Richardson's lapdog again.

Or ask why we didn't go to the routers having a consultant rather than a Richardson surrogate (Becker) a PR guy (Drummond) a lawyer (Argeris) and Rivera rubber stamp Hurney.

Three people with no experience whatsoever in football evaluation and one who's bad at it choosing the guy that's going to make our most important football decisions in the future...Only the Panthers could be happy about having such a dumbass arrangement as that.

Yea it’s a clown show over there right now. So damn frustrating.

[SCP]

This whole process from the day Nippleshorts f**ked up the JNo situation has been a comedy of errors masked by a super human QB and once in a generation LB.

[jfra78]

you rick rolled the panthers

 

[Mr. Scot]

27 minutes ago, SCP said:

Yea it’s a clown show over there right now. So damn frustrating.

They have two legit candidates for the GM job right now, three if they actually do reach out to Cowden, and they're gonna screw them over in favor of Marty frigging Hurney.

I swear, some days I don't know why I'm even a fan of this team.

[Mr. Scot]

And not to be that guy, but it's actually spelled "Norval"