Eagles Week: Dried Puss, Tank Tops, and Fake Championships

[CPcavedweller]

9 hours ago, jasonluckydog said:

The Eagles are my 2nd team, I was born in Philly(not my fault ) . However I hope we curb stomp them Thursday . Go Panthers! 

Second teams are for indecisive people who can't make their own decisions in life or deal with the disappointment faced when one team fails. 

You are an Eagles fan, and an Eagles fan you shall remain. You are on the wagon for the Panther's, admit it. Not to mention, SCP just called you out and you ate it up as truth. 

[CPcavedweller]

1 hour ago, Johnny Rockets said:

I have not. Not familiar with it actually I agree on the whole Pat's, Geno's etc. cheese steaks being overrated though. When I visit,  I usually grab a cheese steak from a few local, hole in the wall places in South Jersey and they are phenomenal. People that go to the "popular" places are doing it all wrong. 

I smell....hipster....

[EaglesRule]

12 hours ago, SCP said:

The worst 4-1 team in the NFL!  Stick that sh*t up your ass and let it sink in like a 300 lb Detroit hooker sinks into a memory foam mattress. We flew up to Detroit, battled the refs and a hostile crowd, pounded that Cooter and walked out of the stadium with a win.  I also got flipped off by a table full of Michigan State fans at the bar in Detroit. All in all, a great weekend to be a Panther fan.  Now it’s time to bag that W and focus on our next opponent during this short week.  Since this is a short week and these assholes do not deserve a minute of my valuable time and honestly, not a damn thing has changed in Phily since 2015, I am going to polish an old turd and recycle some content.   

As in 2015, we are ushering in a gaggle of disgusting human feces from a forgotten crap hole sandwiched between DC and NYC.  Like an orange hemorrhoid protruding from the bleached asshole of Donald Trump, Phily and Phily fans are hard on the eyes and a pain in the ass.  The Philadelphia Eagles and the biggest bunch of assholes this side of Kim Jong-un are coming to BofA stadium on Thursday night.  A more delusional fan base you will not meet.  

The Philadelphia Eagles have been around since 1933.  That’s 84 freaking years.  In that timespan their NFC East rivals have won somewhere in the neighborhood of 14 Super Bowls and the Eagles have won zero.  Our Panthers have been around for 20+ years and it kills me to not have a ring.  I fired off a tweet today about their lack of rings because that’s all us fans of ringless franchises can do and they come back with garbage about the NFL Championships they won in the 50’s when the NFL was like a Mormon church softball league.  Can you blame these Eagles losers for being such miserable wastes of oxygen?  These people are so pathetic that the city had to erect a statue of a fictitious boxer named Rocky just to boost the morale of these unemployed loud mouth bastards.  Philadelphian’s actually believe Rocky was a real life boxing champion.  They cannot separate reality from the movie screen.  I guess when you have to stumble home every night after pounding 17 Stroh’s Lights at the neighborhood bar to women that need a helping hand just to wipe their own fat asses, Eagles fans have to clamp on to whatever small victories they can get.  So while Rocky beating Clubber Lang was awesome, it carries as much weight as the Eagles trophy case.  

Somehow Philadelphians have found our region and migrated here in the thousands.  Like the Dust Bowl era Sooners, these people packed up their diabetic compression socks and loaded up their shitty, rusted out 1978 Buick LeSabre’s and hit I-95 south.  It would have been nice if they kept driving south past NC/SC and ended up in the Straits of Florida, but no, as our luck would have it they ended up here.  Joy to the fricking world.  The most miserable group of white trash this country can produce has set up shop in our backyard.  Every time you bump into an Eagles fan you have to listen to them bitch about Donavan McNabb and how their latest sebaceous cyst (Google that poo) got blood and puss all over their CPAP mask.  Then as Carolinians we are forced to dodge these morbidly obese people rolling around our city on electric scooters in those horrible sh*t green jerseys. So anytime you see a fat ass Eagle fan on a scooter at Walmart, feel free to hitch a ride because you and I are footing the bill with our tax dollars.  The only local businesses that have prospered from this mass invasion of Philadelphians are Gastroenterologists and stores that sell denim products with elastic seams.  

These clowns claim that Philadelphia is the cheese steak capital of the world?  Give me a break.  I’ve been there.  I’ve been to Pat’s and Geno’s and Tony Luke’s and Delassandro’s and they are all ass.  Cheap beef served on dry bread with fake cheese whiz and onions.  Only somebody from Phily would brag about that garbage.  You want the authentic Phiy cheese steak experience?  Go to the gas station, buy a Hot Pocket and a Miller Lite, call the cashier some kind of racist nickname, and punch the guy behind you in line in the face for standing to close to you.  Boom, authentic Phily experience.  If you want to make it really authentic, take a sh*t on your front porch and yell for your wife to come clean it up before you go inside and then cap it all off with a drunk shadow boxing session telling her how you could of beaten up Drago just like Rocky did in Rocky IV.

Eagles fans are walking around thumping their chests about being 4-1.  I think they started last year 5-0.  Carson Wentz is now best QB in the league.  F**Kin A I really cannot stand these guys.  Like in 2015, they think this game will be a breeze.  They think Cam is a running back.  You’ve heard the arguments. When the ball is kicked off in BofA Thursday night the atmosphere should be electric like it was in 2015.  The stands will be full of Eagles fans in the NFL’s ugliest jerseys because none of those assholes want to live up there anymore and we have to deal with the fallout of a country with an open Interstate system that seems to only head from the northeast to Charlotte.  Ah, but like in 2015 Panther fans are going to make our joint tough for those clowns to play in.  Like in 2015,  Eagles fans are thumping their chests over wins against some pretty bad teams.  Good for them, they beat who they were supposed to beat.  Even with our injuries, we are the most well-rounded team they have faced.  It just sucks that this game is on Thursday and not Sunday. I think our defense is going to come out with something to prove after subpar Q4 performances against NE and Detroit.  Our interior o-line and our line as a whole is playing good football and Cam Newton is starting to look healthier week by week.  Cam will beat the Eagles pressure and J Stew will have a breakout game and run the ball against that stout defense.  Not one national outlet has picked us to win the last two weeks.  The NFCE ass kissing has already started as Sal Paolantonio literally rode in Doug Peterson’s car to the game on Sunday.  How many used wet wipes were in that passenger seat?  In the end it’s going to be a great game and the good guys will prevail as Eagles fans leave our stadium with another fat L.

 

Panthers 31
Eagles 24

 

wow, nasty post.   I always find it amusing when folks trash Eagles fans in a way that would be considered nasty by the very fans they are trashing.   well done sir.

[rayzor]

6 minutes ago, EaglesRule said:

wow, nasty post.   I always find it amusing when folks trash Eagles fans in a way that would be considered nasty by the very fans they are trashing.   well done sir.

you should try googling that poo SCP suggested...you know, just for the full effect.

[jfra78]

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

[SCP]

2 hours ago, Johnny Rockets said:

Several years ago SCP (known ad SoutkCakPanther or something like that back then) was going to travel to Philly for work and asked for recommendations on a bar / restaurant to eat. He wound up at Chickie and Pete's and couldn't stop raving about the cheese steaks and crab fries. I smell a fraud.  

Hey man nobody asked you anyway! (I still stop there every time I'm in Philadelphia thanks for the tip. I fantasize about those crab fries).

[Panthro]

3 hours ago, Udogg said:

I bet when little kids ask you "knock, knock", you respond "why don't you make a doorbell sound?" 

I have a ring doorbell. I already know who is there.

[moneyball]

11 hours ago, racingkid39 said:

I can't wait to hear EDP's reaction when the Panthers hand the Eagles a major L Thursday night. 

As a reminder, EDP is a YouTuber and is easily one of the most annoying Eagles fans I have ever seen.

Not many Eagles fans like him anymore. He used to be funny in 2012-2013 and then he got famous and realized the madder he got, the more views he got. It's not genuine anymore. The best Eagles Youtuber was Archfiend and sadly he doesn't do videos anymore.

Also, as an Eagles fan and Philly resident, very well done on the opening post. Pat's, Geno's & TL's do suck. Delassandros is usually in people's top 5, but if any of you venture up here for a future game, might I recommend John's Roast Pork. The RP sandwiches and cheesesteaks are terrific and it's not too far from the stadium.

[moneyball]

11 minutes ago, SCP said:

Hey man nobody asked you anyway! (I still stop there every time I'm in Philadelphia thanks for the tip. I fantasize about those crab fries).

Yeah, they are really good. They are like 12 bucks at the stadium, but if you go to the stand alone restaurant like 200 yards from the complex, it's cheaper.

[Johnny Rockets]

12 hours ago, Saca312 said:

Seriously, the Eagles are the epitome of trash when it comes to fanbases. Outside the division, they’re the #1 I despise.

Annoying, obnoxious, and completely delusional. You’d think they’re the Patriots at their peak with the way they talk. They think Wentz is the next Brady and talk about how their offense is unstoppable with him it’s annoying.

I’d tolerate it, but the way they say act and boast makes them the equivalent of a herd of dying swine squealing and yapping like crazed maniacs while squirming in a pile of dirt and mud wallowing in their own feces.

Thank you SCP for this.

If anyone would know about being delusional........

 

Pretty much everything I've been reading and hearing from Eagle fans / Philly media has been rational and they aren't expecting an easy game at all. Most are not expecting a win, but hopeful they can pull it off on the road. 

[P8aer]

This stereotype is more outdated than Rocky.  I am a Panthers fan living in NJ,  about 30 miles outside of Philadelphia. 

Trust me when I tell you your post is borderline delusional.  What you've described is south Philadelphia in 1985.  If you find a south Philly native 50+ years old, then fine you may be able to fit this mold you've built.  

[dave-o]

No Philly fan here but Harold Carmichael was sure fun to watch...  That said...  I hope they suffer a horrible death tomorrow night !!

[Johnny Rockets]

1 hour ago, P8aer said:

This stereotype is more outdated than Rocky.  I am a Panthers fan living in NJ,  about 30 miles outside of Philadelphia. 

Trust me when I tell you your post is borderline delusional.  What you've described is south Philadelphia in 1985.  If you find a south Philly native 50+ years old, then fine you may be able to fit this mold you've built.  

South Jersey? I grew up 30 miles outside of Philly in Franklinville.

 

[SCP]

2 hours ago, P8aer said:

This stereotype is more outdated than Rocky.  I am a Panthers fan living in NJ,  about 30 miles outside of Philadelphia. 

Trust me when I tell you your post is borderline delusional.  What you've described is south Philadelphia in 1985.  If you find a south Philly native 50+ years old, then fine you may be able to fit this mold you've built.  

Geez lighten up Francis it's sports hate satire.