Fiz's Guide to Cheering for a Bad Team

[Guest]

Oh, it's much easier to win arguments with other fans about football teams if you acknowledge your team sucks.

Most football fans would probably get destroyed by a 2nd century BCE athenian in a football argument, mostly because they have no idea to argue. No one really does, they don't teach rhetoric anymore for reasons I'm not going to get in to.

Anyway, if you were to accurately point out Matt Ryan is a vastly overrated QB, probably won't progress too much, and has had his mediocre accomplishments blown out of proportion by the media, a Falcons fan might respond to you that he completely chewed up the Panthers secondary.

A die hard, blindly loyal, irrational panther fan then might respond "Well, uh, he threw a pick, and, uh...." and embarrass themselves.

A smart, logical, unbiased Panther fan would light his cigarette, take a deep puff, smile condescendingly at the Falcons fan, and says "whoopee. what a very small accomplishment" then laugh while walking away, surrounded by all the hot bitches.

Smoking is unhealthy.

[thejimmy]

Pretty good write-up. Agree with it.

Still pissed at the team, however.

[Scrumtrilescent]

Did you decapitate a bull while writing that, Fiz?

[Sultan33g]

Did you decapitate a bull while writing that, Fiz?

the way of the jedi decapitation is not

[pstall]

this has a sort of Buckaroo Bonzai feel to it

[Bodybag]

What s with the fu_ked up baby arm story in the middle? How does that fit in?

The horror...

[Claws]

And just when I was starting to look on the bright side of these Panthers.....thanks Fiz

[rayzor]

What s with the fu_ked up baby arm story in the middle? How does that fit in? Then you had me right up until , then you lost me. Good read for the most part...

Yeah, I'm still wondering about this here...

I'm confused Fiz, was that before or after you were working at the aquarium for 12 bucks an hour?

You listen to him. The man's enlarged my mind. He's a poet-warrior in the classic sense. I mean sometimes he'll... uh... well, you'll say "hello" to him, right? And he'll just walk right by you. He won't even notice you. And suddenly he'll grab you, and he'll throw you in a corner, and he'll say, "do you know that 'if' is the middle word in life? If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, if you can trust yourself when all men doubt you"... I mean I'm no, I can't... I'm a little man, I'm a little man, he's... he's a great man. I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across floors of silent seas...

[Wither]

Oh, it's much easier to win arguments with other fans about football teams if you acknowledge your team sucks.

Most football fans would probably get destroyed by a 2nd century BCE athenian in a football argument, mostly because they have no idea to argue. No one really does, they don't teach rhetoric anymore for reasons I'm not going to get in to.

Anyway, if you were to accurately point out Matt Ryan is a vastly overrated QB, probably won't progress too much, and has had his mediocre accomplishments blown out of proportion by the media, a Falcons fan might respond to you that he completely chewed up the Panthers secondary.

A die hard, blindly loyal, irrational panther fan then might respond "Well, uh, he threw a pick, and, uh...." and embarrass themselves.

A smart, logical, unbiased Panther fan would light his cigarette, take a deep puff, smile condescendingly at the Falcons fan, and says "whoopee. what a very small accomplishment" then laugh while walking away, surrounded by all the hot bitches.

I've learned rhetoric. It wasn't really taught, though.

Luckily, there are a few people on this board who are the second (or close to it).

You listen to him. The man's enlarged my mind. He's a poet-warrior in the classic sense. I mean sometimes he'll... uh... well, you'll say "hello" to him, right? And he'll just walk right by you. He won't even notice you. And suddenly he'll grab you, and he'll throw you in a corner, and he'll say, "do you know that 'if' is the middle word in life? If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, if you can trust yourself when all men doubt you"... I mean I'm no, I can't... I'm a little man, I'm a little man, he's... he's a great man. I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across floors of silent seas...

Lmao, you two are only slightly insane.

[rayzor]

You either surf or you fight.

[Scrumtrilescent]

For fug's sake, Apocalypse Now people.

[Pimpdaddy]

News Flash: the Panthers suck

They don't do anything well.

On offense, their playcalling is terrible, Jake Delhomme is a building collapsing in slow motion, defenses have figured out how to stop it, and the continuity and team work we saw with the offensive line last year has yet to materialize.

On defense, nothing works at all. They can't cover, can't tackle, can't blitz, can't get to the quarterback, and can't stop anyone.

The coaching staff looks like deer in set of headlights, and every embarrassing loss is just one day closer to judgment.

...This weekend I'm gooing to start the game off with a couple valium washed down with some whiskey. The let down won't hurt as bad...

[Sultan33g]

...This weekend I'm gooing to start the game off with a couple valium washed down with some whiskey. The let down won't hurt as bad...

to quote electro : "Dilaudid"

[PanthaSan]

When I was in Special Ops, we were the ones chopping off kids arms. Only because we couldn't water board them. Little Mofo's had a lot of valuable intel and we were getting it...