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Hate Week. Again.


saints4lifeagain

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Listen up you bunch of mountain folk window lickers!  (or city slickers according Igor, elohfuggingel by the way). It's Saints vs. Panthers week, which means it's hate week. So I'll start this off with a big fug you, your family, your friends, and your team. The Saints are going in dry this week fellas, so it's time to do your best Mercedes Benz Stadium impression and open up that sphincter. 

I'm fairly certain that, at this point, the Saints defense won't be able to slow down any NFL offense and would struggle with at least 37 NCAA offenses. The Saints defense gives up HOF worthy numbers every week. Seriously. They could give the MVP to the combined numbers of the QBs the Saints play. It's unreal. It's a fugging unexplainable phenomenon. 

But that's ok, at least we have a top 5 offe...wait, what's that? We keep trading away offensive players to help a defense that continues to rank 32nd? So now the offense sucks too? Whoda fugging thunk it? We've got Great Value Jimmy Graham starting at TE and Clover Valley (that's Dollar Generals generic brand. Shoutout to my broke people in the house. Bigcat just ignore this part) Brandin Cooks playing receiver. On top of that both tackles are hurt so Drew is getting pummeled worse than the only blonde chick at a college football party. Adrian Peterson looks every bit of 75. 

But hey! Our fugging punter can bang the poo out of the ball. So we've got that going for us. Prepare to face long fields, with which you'll drive down with ease, all game long!

So now is the part where I predict a 45-10 Panthers win. But like I said, fug you and everyone you know. 

62-3 Saints. 

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Seeing as the Saints biggest weakness on defense is long passes down the field I predict Cam will throw the ball no further than 5 yards past the LOS all game. While the defense still looks great multiple turnovers leaving the Saints with a short field will keep this game close. Panthers pull the win out of their ass after Cam stops listening to Shula and we win 23-20 on a late 4th quarter touchdown. In the postgame press conference Cam admits that he started calling his own plays and the only person that backs up Shula as a good OC is Rivera. 

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