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I just had an epoophany: Panthers will beat the Cardinals

SCP

By SCP,
in Carolina Panthers

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SCP

Posted
Posted

So I am not traveling this week which means all my craps have been home games.  My legs don’t fall asleep as fast on the home porcelain and I tend to think a little clearer, at least before the single ply hits the dirt star and all hell breaks loose.  So this morning I walk into the shithouse and the handicap stall is sitting there beckoning for my sexy ass to hop and drop and get my poop on like it’s 1995.  I do so with angelic harps playing in the back ground and with a clear heart and conscious I bear down for a sweet Autumn ride on a porcelain Harley.  Legs stretched and relaxed like I’m lying in a field on a crisp Autumn day it hits me that the Panthers are going to win Sunday.  Now, some might say this is due to the euphoria of a fantastic poop supplemented by Roy Hibbert and MKGetThatShitOuttaHere leading my Hornets to an opening season victory but it’s not that simple.  No.  Here is the deal.  We are going to win Sunday.  Why?  Carson Palmer is going to turn the ball over 4 times and we are going to score off those turnovers.  Palmer’s demons will show up this Sunday.  He’s going to have the last few games he’s played here dating back to Oakland dancing in his head.  I think he will be trying to force things and will shart the bed.  This game will come down to a fragile psyche. I have sat on too many automated toilets that flush during a poop session and get my balls wet.  As a result I naturally don’t trust a toilet with a sensor so I’m all jumpy and can’t relax.  Folks, we are Carson Palmer’s automated toilet.  Bank on this W and lets send Carson Palmer a gift basket after it’s all over.

Panthers 27

Cards 17

 

 

carson.jpg

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nctarheel0619 Newbie

nctarheel0619

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, SCP said:

So I am not traveling this week which means all my craps have been home games.  My legs don’t fall asleep as fast on the home porcelain and I tend to think a little clearer, at least before the single ply hits the dirt star and all hell breaks loose.  So this morning I walk into the shithouse and the handicap stall is sitting there beckoning for my sexy ass to hop and drop and get my poop on like it’s 1995.  I do so with angelic harps playing in the back ground and with a clear heart and conscious I bear down for a sweet Autumn ride on a porcelain Harley.  Legs stretched and relaxed like I’m lying in a field on a crisp Autumn day it hits me that the Panthers are going to win Sunday.  Now, some might say this is due to the euphoria of a fantastic poop supplemented by Roy Hibbert and MKGetThatShitOuttaHere leading my Hornets to an opening season victory but it’s not that simple.  No.  Here is the deal.  We are going to win Sunday.  Why?  Carson Palmer is going to turn the ball over 4 times and we are going to score off those turnovers.  Palmer’s demons will show up this Sunday.  He’s going to have the last few games he’s played here dating back to Oakland dancing in his head.  I think he will be trying to force things and will shart the bed.  This game will come down to a fragile psyche. I have sat on too many automated toilets that flush during a poop session and get my balls wet.  As a result I naturally don’t trust a toilet with a sensor so I’m all jumpy and can’t relax.  Folks, we are Carson Palmer’s automated toilet.  Bank on this W and lets send Carson Palmer a gift basket after it’s all over.

 

 

carson.jpg

Score prediction?  

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The_Rainmaker Newbie

The_Rainmaker

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, SCP said:

So I am not traveling this week which means all my craps have been home games.  My legs don’t fall asleep as fast on the home porcelain and I tend to think a little clearer, at least before the single ply hits the dirt star and all hell breaks loose.  So this morning I walk into the shithouse and the handicap stall is sitting there beckoning for my sexy ass to hop and drop and get my poop on like it’s 1995.  I do so with angelic harps playing in the back ground and with a clear heart and conscious I bear down for a sweet Autumn ride on a porcelain Harley.  Legs stretched and relaxed like I’m lying in a field on a crisp Autumn day it hits me that the Panthers are going to win Sunday.  Now, some might say this is due to the euphoria of a fantastic poop supplemented by Roy Hibbert and MKGetThatShitOuttaHere leading my Hornets to an opening season victory but it’s not that simple.  No.  Here is the deal.  We are going to win Sunday.  Why?  Carson Palmer is going to turn the ball over 4 times and we are going to score off those turnovers.  Palmer’s demons will show up this Sunday.  He’s going to have the last few games he’s played here dating back to Oakland dancing in his head.  I think he will be trying to force things and will shart the bed.  This game will come down to a fragile psyche. I have sat on too many automated toilets that flush during a poop session and get my balls wet.  As a result I naturally don’t trust a toilet with a sensor so I’m all jumpy and can’t relax.  Folks, we are Carson Palmer’s automated toilet.  Bank on this W and lets send Carson Palmer a gift basket after it’s all over.

 

 

carson.jpg

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