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That father feeling

Ja Rhule

By Ja Rhule,
in Huddle Lounge

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PhillyB Grand Master

PhillyB

Posted
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not to turn this all serious but i never understood that attitude. it's patriarchal (wimmin are mah property) and controlling. why not raise your daughter to not date fugtards like yourself and save the trouble of making these videos and sharing "date my daughter" applications on facebook that perpetuate arbitrary social values such as virginity meant to control women?

meh

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Ja Rhule Grand Master

Ja Rhule

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2 hours ago, PhillyB said:

not to turn this all serious but i never understood that attitude. it's patriarchal (wimmin are mah property) and controlling. why not raise your daughter to not date fugtards like yourself and save the trouble of making these videos and sharing "date my daughter" applications on facebook that perpetuate arbitrary social values such as virginity meant to control women?

meh

Wait until your daughter becomes teenage r.... You'll get it.  99% of males mind set to do one thing... fug.  Get in, get out.  Girls are super hormonal at age 13-17... they don't know what they want and lots of times end up targets of horny male teens. Fathers are super protective of their daughters and do not want their little angels to be some scum piece of meat. If you think you will be able to just sit down and talk to your daughter and her just say "yes dad, I will only date kind gettlemen" then you are up for a rude awakening.  

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Anybodyhome Grand Master

Anybodyhome

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From someone who was smart enough not to have kids....

Instead of lecturing your kid and trying to tell her who she can and can't date (which will never work), why not do your best to instill a healthy decision-making process by teaching her right from wrong. She'll never make all the right decisions, but at least they'll be her decisions and not yours made for her. 

Try to control her choices and feelings and you're likely in for more heartache than you think when she has a clandestine relationship because she is afraid of what you'll say or do. I'd rather she date a dipshit I don't like, but at least she's comfortable enough to bring him around occasionally versus her feeling like she has to sneak around while seeing someone you know nothing about and have never met. 

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PhillyB Grand Master

PhillyB

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1 hour ago, ARSEN said:

Wait until your daughter becomes teenage r.... You'll get it.  99% of males mind set to do one thing... fug.  Get in, get out.  Girls are super hormonal at age 13-17... they don't know what they want and lots of times end up targets of horny male teens. Fathers are super protective of their daughters and do not want their little angels to be some scum piece of meat. If you think you will be able to just sit down and talk to your daughter and her just say "yes dad, I will only date kind gettlemen" then you are up for a rude awakening.  

why is a girl a scum piece of meat if she has sex with a guy but a guy isn't a victim of becoming a scum piece of meat if he has sex with the girl? why aren't we telling teenage boys the girl they have to bring home is gonna get interviewed at the point of a shotgun to make sure she's not seducing them and turning them into scummy tainted meat?

there's a vast gulf in how we treat the two and imo it's a reflection of the fact that we (unconsciously) appropriate sexual activity much, much differently depending on whether males or females are having the sex... it just seems fuged up is all i'm saying. i used to adhere to stuff like this and i always imagined i'd be that dad, but now i'm the farthest thing from it. i can't see being that guy, even in a less sensationalized form. i think it's better to teach all kids respect for self, others, and personal health/safety regardless of their gender than to control one's actions and laud the other's.

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Ja Rhule Grand Master

Ja Rhule

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9 minutes ago, PhillyB said:

why is a girl a scum piece of meat if she has sex with a guy but a guy isn't a victim of becoming a scum piece of meat if he has sex with the girl? why aren't we telling teenage boys the girl they have to bring home is gonna get interviewed at the point of a shotgun to make sure she's not seducing them and turning them into scummy tainted meat?

there's a vast gulf in how we treat the two and imo it's a reflection of the fact that we (unconsciously) appropriate sexual activity much, much differently depending on whether males or females are having the sex... it just seems fuged up is all i'm saying. i used to adhere to stuff like this and i always imagined i'd be that dad, but now i'm the farthest thing from it. i can't see being that guy, even in a less sensationalized form. i think it's better to teach all kids respect for self, others, and personal health/safety regardless of their gender than to control one's actions and laud the other's.

One can get pregnant and have their life ruined the other can just move on with little to no strings attached.

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PhillyB Grand Master

PhillyB

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3 minutes ago, ARSEN said:

One can get pregnant and have their life ruined the other can just move on with little to no strings attached.

i mean there's no question there's a difference, i just question whether it's good parenting to widen the gulf of that difference, especially when it could actually backfire on you and cause your daughter to actually go seek out guys that her father disapproves of

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pstall Newbie

pstall

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As a dad of two teen girls let me tell you the pressure is on teens from all angles and the parent feels it as well.

We try to focus more on what to do than not what to do. Human nature is to go after the very thing you keep being told not to.

As a dad my job is to make my girls feel they can approach me with anything and not freak out what im told. Ideally if you do a good job they want a guy like dad. If not they will gravitate to those that make them feel secure. 

To me the 2 best phrases a father of girls can say are i love you and I'm sorry. I say both daily. It helps them feel secure as well as they can come to me because im not perfect. 

The more a girl can see value in who she is and what she is doing she can be strong and independent and doesn't have to have a boyfriend or some other dude's approval. Every kid is different and you just have to help them navigate stuff and listen listen listen listen.  

 

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ncdrifter Apprentice

ncdrifter

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18 hours ago, ARSEN said:

Wait until your daughter becomes teenage r.... You'll get it.  99% of males mind set to do one thing... fug.  Get in, get out.  Girls are super hormonal at age 13-17... they don't know what they want and lots of times end up targets of horny male teens. Fathers are super protective of their daughters and do not want their little angels to be some scum piece of meat. If you think you will be able to just sit down and talk to your daughter and her just say "yes dad, I will only date kind gettlemen" then you are up for a rude awakening.  

       Amen, Brother,I have three!

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Khyber53 Grand Master

Khyber53

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On 10/3/2016 at 11:25 AM, pstall said:

As a dad of two teen girls let me tell you the pressure is on teens from all angles and the parent feels it as well.

We try to focus more on what to do than not what to do. Human nature is to go after the very thing you keep being told not to.

As a dad my job is to make my girls feel they can approach me with anything and not freak out what im told. Ideally if you do a good job they want a guy like dad. If not they will gravitate to those that make them feel secure. 

To me the 2 best phrases a father of girls can say are i love you and I'm sorry. I say both daily. It helps them feel secure as well as they can come to me because im not perfect. 

The more a girl can see value in who she is and what she is doing she can be strong and independent and doesn't have to have a boyfriend or some other dude's approval. Every kid is different and you just have to help them navigate stuff and listen listen listen listen.  

 

Nothing but wisdom here. Best you can do is raise them to respect themselves and hope that they respect you, too. And not in the fear-like thing some folks equate as respect.

But dang, I have to say daughters get hard to talk to after they hit about 11. It's like a switch has been flicked. It's a minefield and all you have is tap shoes.

 

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