Deadspin: Why your Team Sucks - Carolina Panthers Edition

[shaqattaq]

1 hour ago, Growl said:

Meh, they've done a lot better. When your nitpicking the owner because he has money, you're really reaching.

he does look a little bit like Mr. Magoo.

[jumpman910]

I've been waiting for this, when I was reading them for other teams I knew they would have to reach for ours.  I imagine the gym other elite teams ready similar to ours 

[KSpan]

1 hour ago, Captain Morgan said:

and this is a must-not in a trash piece..

 

Let’s go back before the Super Bowl, when the Panthers were still anundefeated 13-1 and the Falcons handed them their first loss.

To be fair, there was that ridiculous "undefeated 6-1" thing that happened last year. Not sure if I'm giving them too much credit here though.

http://deadspin.com/the-best-and-dumbest-meme-is-unfolding-on-the-panthers-1740596866

Quote

The Carolina Panthers are 7-0. But here’s something to ponder: what if the undefeated NFC South team was actually ... 6-1?

 

[fitty76]

1 hour ago, Growl said:

Meh, they've done a lot better. When your nitpicking the owner because he has money, you're really reaching.

The statue is a little tacky.  Let's be honest.  

[Carl Spackler]

I'm gonna start calling Charleston "East San Francisco"

[Sam Mills Fan]

Don't be crybabies guys, they do these for all 32 teams and their only existence is to make people angry.

[pantherphan96]

nailed it

Quote

Top 8 reasons white, middle-aged Panthers fans don’t like Cam Newton:

1. He dances (He’s black)
2. He talks trash (He’s black)
3. He’s not your prototypical drop back QB (He’s Black)
4. He often overthrows WRs (He’s black)
5. He wears a towel over his head (He’s black)
6. His college controversies (He’s Black)
7. They’re Alabama Fans (He’s Black)
8. He’s black (HE’S BLACK)

At this point there really aren’t any sincere excuses left to not like your NFL MVP quarterback.

 

[AppHeel]

Man I know this article is satire and meant to make fun of teams, the city, etc for a fun read, but man, the writer did Jerry dirty in this article imo. Don't eff with Jerry. He's a damn Saint.

Also I love his statue. 

[d-dave]

I guess I found the humor in the context and subjects as opposed to the delivery.  Like the ones he did for the Vikings and Seahawks, those were funny.  

But the Panthers, they have to really dig deep or rehash old criticism of the Panthers.  Sure there's some easy stuff like the fumble, the fakery of Cam, bit when it comes to the attacks, they are bitter, not funny.

Shows how good we are and were.  You have to work hard, and stretch things.  The comments have some bitter gold as well.

I don't mind when folks have to try hurling arrows.  We are relevant.  

Edit: upon further reflection, it wasn't funny no matter how I tried to justify it...

[Clicheking]

Ehhhhh i normally love these, i probably didnt enjoy this one because it brought back a lot of memories about the Superbowl I'd rather forget. Now I'm just sitting her with the tv on mute, trying hard not to cry

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[CarolinaSamurai]

Didnt really do it well this year. I read another and it wasn't funny either. They get a new writer? 

[ItsNotGonnaBeAlright]

Meh, they've done better. Also a lot of these jokes are recycled from last year.

[bababoey]

Read the Browns write up

Quote

I’m not a Browns fan, but a couple of years ago a few buddies and I went up to Cleveland for aBrowns/Texans game and it was legitimately one of the more depressing days of my life.

For starters, with the exception of JJ Watt, the biggest star involved in the game was Ed Hochuli. I’m not even exaggerating. When you’re watching Brian Hoyer throw passes to fuging Jim Dray, Ed Hochuli might as well be Magic Johnson.

The fans in Cleveland are too depressing to make fun of. They have this incredible ability to sense a lost game way before it should be possible. At half time of this game, they were down by a touchdown, yet walking around the concourse you got the idea that 60,000 people had witnessed Jim Brown fug their mother while wearing a Ravens jersey. They just knew that there was no way for them to mount a 7 point “comeback” on the Ryan fuging Mallet led Houston Texans. You could taste the depression. It rubbed off on you like Marcus Allen at the Playboy mansion.

Also there was a guy out front selling peanuts and water. He didn’t pause in between words, so it sounded like he was selling “Penis Water”. My friend pointing this out was the highlight of the game.

 

[CPF4LIFE]

Big Cat Magoo