The Quarter Life Crisis

[Ja Rhule]

Whatever you do, decide carefully.  Life is a journey and you make your journey.  Good luck.

[CRA]

20 hours ago, CamMoon said:

I'll be graduating a decent sized college on Friday with a degree in Social Behavioral Sciences. I've taken the necessary prereqs for Medical School, Occupational Therapy School, and Physical Therapy School (All things I was interested in) I only applied to 1 OT school this cycle, out of pure laziness and subconsciously wanting to take a year off and just work like a normal adult. I'm currently waitlisted at the program. No big deal.

The job market is fine and I have a few interviews coming up. Most have nothing to do with my major (911 dispatcher) but I have an interview with the States child services agency.

I know a lot of people would kill to be in my position, but I have the urge to go to Kenya or Ghana and build houses and roads instead of going to medical school and "Settling down". There is a great Masters program at my UNI that I could apply for (would likely get in as I know the director), do that for 2 years then work abroad for a while. Then perhaps come back and go to Med/OT/PT school and melt away in the suburbs afterwards.

My GF absolutely hates the idea of me attending this program and the subsequent travel that it would entail. I've sacrificed a lot for her, and a lot of other people in my immediate family and feel its time for me to truely "find myself" and do something I know I'll enjoy. IF that means ending a relationship I've been in since shorty after high school, is it worth it? Haven't I wasted the "best years of my life"?

TLDR- Soon to be college gradating considering attending grad program that will require travel, put him at odds with long term gf

my advice to anyone young.

Don't choose to not see the world.....b/c you have a girlfriend (or boyfriend)

I wish I had traveled more when I graduated college.  Next window I will get to legitimately do it....will be when both my kids are grown and I am retired (which few likely in my generation will do as early as prior generations)

[Anybodyhome]

I have quite literally seen the world and traveled it for my entire Navy career and the education I received from that has been far more beneficial, rewarding, grounding and gratifying than any of the degrees I got along the way. But, had I not traveled and seen for myself and experienced the rest of the world, there's no way I would have been the student I was when I got those degrees.

[SOJA]

Edit: forgot to mention I know how you feel OP and if you ever just need an ear to bounce ideas off send me a PM

 

currently in med school, I love it but I worked my fuging ass off to get where I am today. Here's my advice only on medical school (not the other programs you are considering)

DO NOT

I repeat DO NOT go to medical school just "to go" the is a stark difference in the attitudes of my classmates who are here because they truly wanted to practice medicine and the self proclaimed people who are in it for the wrong reasons (i.e. they were in it for the money or someone pressured them into going to medical school when they really didn't want to). 

Medical school is hard, it's a ton of work, and you're first two years you aren't even seeing patients. Then once you finally do see patients for years you are constantly messing up, failing to impress the attendings, and waking up early and going to bedlate. 

Residency they work the ever loving poo out of you. 

Still...I would not trade anything in the world for the opportunity I have been granted and I want to encourage you that if you truly feel like medicine is your passion then by all means send me a PM and I'll help you in any way I can. I love school pretty much for the first time ever (save for my upper level courses in college), but some of my classmates spend all day WHINING.  

From your OP, it seems like you have a good heart and want to help people. There are other ways to help people besides medicine. I don't want to scare you off, but you should know what you are getting into. 

[pstall]

Not to hijack but is there a better way they can work people thru residency? Seems its feast or famine and grinds some into the ground.

Back to the thread. Travel before you have kids and don't fixate on getting everything right because you wont. 

[SOJA]

2 minutes ago, pstall said:

Not to hijack but is there a better way they can work people thru residency? Seems its feast or famine and grinds some into the ground.

Back to the thread. Travel before you have kids and don't fixate on getting everything right because you wont. 

I am not a resident yet so I can't say for sure- I'm just going off what current residents or people fresh out of it have told me. It would seem like there has to be a better way to handle it because I completely agree with you, but I'll leave that to someone smarter than me to figure out. 

 

[pstall]

5 minutes ago, SOJA said:

I am not a resident yet so I can't say for sure- I'm just going off what current residents or people fresh out of it have told me. It would seem like there has to be a better way to handle it because I completely agree with you, but I'll leave that to someone smarter than me to figure out. 

 

I have debated some doctor and nurse friends that 12 hr shifts aren't maximizing their talents and they just think its ok. 4 10s may be better.

Im just a workflow effiency nerd.

[CamMoon]

UPDATE: So it turns out all of this was a terrible idea lol
Shortly after posting this and graduating I broke it off with my GF in order to "be free". In reality I've never been the kind of person to fly out to a different country and stay there 4 weeks just because I felt like it. In reality it was really a "grass is greener" type of thing. After we both made several attempts at reconciliation, I got on Tinder and started trollling for booty. She seemed cool with it, but I probably should have known better. 1 date with some nobody and the (ex?) GF is yet to forgive me even after repeated attempts at reconciliation. Shes legitimately hurt at the entire ordeal and its harm to blame her. Although these past few days have been difficult, at least I now know what I want in life. Yay?

 

Seriously if you have a good relationship don't ruin it thinking single life or even another person could be better. The grass usually dirt on the other side. I'll continue to try and make this work. She hasn't slammed the door on me yet, so..

 

[stirs]

Couple notes from an old guy:

I changed exponentially from the time I left high school to my mid twenties.  Whatever girl i dated in high school would have never been with me for the long haul.  She changes and you change.  You are experiencing the difference now in your outlook vs that of a high schooler, go with it.

Once I got college behind me, I left to go out west and work at a ranch for 4 months which is still the best summer of my life. No job, good or bad, could replace those memories.

Getting those experiences are wonderful, but also hard to jump back into college life upon return.  Sometimes when to return is the hardest part.

Get the studies out of the way while you are in that groove, get the degrees, then hit the road.  Not having 2, 4, or 6 more years of college waiting on you will make the travel that much more enjoyable.

Wanderlust is the deal

 

[Seal (SmittyIsOurSavior)]

FWIW, I bought a one way ticket the week after I graduated and have been bouncing from place to place ever since. It's definitely difficult, especially not knowing if you'll be able to find stability in your life anytime soon, but traveling and experiencing what the rest of the world has to offer is a must IMO. Just turned twenty two & I've now hit twenty two countries in 4 continents (and counting), and as much as I appreciate the US for what it is and how it shaped my life, getting out there and experiencing different people, different cultures, different viewpoints, etc is a must IMO, especially if you have that kind of curiosity dwelling in the back of your mind already. It's honestly saved me from deeper depression too, though I wouldn't recommend it as a way to escape your demons completely, lol.

 

You won't regret it, you can always go back to school, you can always find another great girl, etc, but you can only be young & dumb once, lol. Travel now while you've still got no concrete obligations before you regret not doing it and get wrapped up in the "what if's."

[Seal (SmittyIsOurSavior)]

8 hours ago, stirs said:

Getting those experiences are wonderful, but also hard to jump back into college life upon return.  Sometimes when to return is the hardest part.

Get the studies out of the way while you are in that groove, get the degrees, then hit the road.  Not having 2, 4, or 6 more years of college waiting on you will make the travel that much more enjoyable.

Also, this is my biggest fear right now. I have UK citizenship, so I can go to a lot of countries in Europe and get free schooling, but it's already becoming a bigger and bigger fear that I may not be able to convince myself to go back and get a Masters eventually. So if you're 100% set on getting your post-grad education, you might want to consider how motivated you are as a person and towards your studies. Cause once you get out there, lol, you'll be looking for every reason not to settle down and get back into the grind once again.

[imminent rogaine]

Dude. Travel. You're likely going to find yourself anchored to "real life" whether it be school, work, family, whatever. Take the opportunity while you have very few strings attached. From experience, taking a little time off from school helped with school. I came back refreshed, motivated, and with new perspective all of which helped in school.

I always talked of travel but never made the effort for it to happen. Do something career related in your travels,  so that it is an asset when you apply to programs or jobs. So instead of building roads, maybe try and get in at a Clinic or something - missions often have these types of facilities and might even offer free board as payment.

"I traveled to country A, learned X and contributed Y" sounds better than "I took time off from school to blaze in Amsterdam and because fug it".

[d-dave]

OP - Take your own journey.  If you feel called to do something like that, then go do it. Don't settle for settling down.  You'll regret not doing it!

If your girlfriend isn't supportive, break up with her.  Do it now, don't let it linger.  I mean, certainly talk it over with her, see if she might be cool going long distance for a bit, but the heart wants what the heart wants.  If she doesn't want you to go do that because she wants to settle down or whatever, then it's just the wrong time.

Life is far too short not to take those big leaps.  Best to take them now when you're young, single and have very little real responsibility (kids, mortgage, crippling debt payments, etc).