You go home and see this on your couch

[Biscuit]

Too late for Scotch Guard, I guess.

[cptx]

1 hour ago, rodeo said:

If I got home and saw that on my couch, I'd drop my keys in surprise and be like "What the fug are you doing here?" Russell would say something like "I saw the things you said on the Huddle about me. I'm very upset." I'd knit my brows angrily and approach, one of my hands pressing onto the back of the couch as I loomed down over him. I'd say something like "Is that really why you came here," and he'd shake his head. I'd chuckle and say I thought not, and then I'd lean closer until my lips mashed against his, and my tongue teased at the crease between his lips. He'd probably squirm like he's uncomfortable but he'd been looking forward to it for a long time. I'd undo the button of his stupid jeans and loosen them and slide my hand inside to grip him. The kiss would probably break and I'd say something like "Looks like height isn't the only place you're short." His face would probably get red and I'd feel bad, so I'd say "Don't worry, I like it," even though clearly I don't. After just a few seconds of kissing and feeling him in my hand he would erupt in my palm, and it would piss me off. He'd say something like "I'm sorry, I've never done this before. I'm a virgin." I'd pull my hand out, and I'd smear it in a streak down his face. "Get out of my house, you little bitch," I'd probably say, and he would break eye contact and look at the floor as he hurried out, muttering "Yes sir, sorry sir." Once he closed the door behind him, I'd call out "Kajira!" for my slave to come over, and I'd lean to take a grape from her tray, and quietly instruct her to pull the fire alarm at his hotel.

I was just gonna say put my dick in it but you did it so much better.

[L-TownCat]

4 hours ago, rodeo said:

If I got home and saw that on my couch, I'd drop my keys in surprise and be like "What the fug are you doing here?" Russell would say something like "I saw the things you said on the Huddle about me. I'm very upset." I'd knit my brows angrily and approach, one of my hands pressing onto the back of the couch as I loomed down over him. I'd say something like "Is that really why you came here," and he'd shake his head. I'd chuckle and say I thought not, and then I'd lean closer until my lips mashed against his, and my tongue teased at the crease between his lips. He'd probably squirm like he's uncomfortable but he'd been looking forward to it for a long time. I'd undo the button of his stupid jeans and loosen them and slide my hand inside to grip him. The kiss would probably break and I'd say something like "Looks like height isn't the only place you're short." His face would probably get red and I'd feel bad, so I'd say "Don't worry, I like it," even though clearly I don't. After just a few seconds of kissing and feeling him in my hand he would erupt in my palm, and it would piss me off. He'd say something like "I'm sorry, I've never done this before. I'm a virgin." I'd pull my hand out, and I'd smear it in a streak down his face. "Get out of my house, you little bitch," I'd probably say, and he would break eye contact and look at the floor as he hurried out, muttering "Yes sir, sorry sir." Once he closed the door behind him, I'd call out "Kajira!" for my slave to come over, and I'd lean to take a grape from her tray, and quietly instruct her to pull the fire alarm at his hotel.

 

 

I envision lurking fauxhawk fans be all like...

[Gin and Juice]

Offer couch and contents on huddle for free

[Icege]

Chop that bitch like karate

[CPantherKing]

I believe this is foreshadowing. Russell Wilson going down like the Titanic Sunday.

[PhillyB]

4 hours ago, rodeo said:

If I got home and saw that on my couch, I'd drop my keys in surprise and be like "What the fug are you doing here?" Russell would say something like "I saw the things you said on the Huddle about me. I'm very upset." I'd knit my brows angrily and approach, one of my hands pressing onto the back of the couch as I loomed down over him. I'd say something like "Is that really why you came here," and he'd shake his head. I'd chuckle and say I thought not, and then I'd lean closer until my lips mashed against his, and my tongue teased at the crease between his lips. He'd probably squirm like he's uncomfortable but he'd been looking forward to it for a long time. I'd undo the button of his stupid jeans and loosen them and slide my hand inside to grip him. The kiss would probably break and I'd say something like "Looks like height isn't the only place you're short." His face would probably get red and I'd feel bad, so I'd say "Don't worry, I like it," even though clearly I don't. After just a few seconds of kissing and feeling him in my hand he would erupt in my palm, and it would piss me off. He'd say something like "I'm sorry, I've never done this before. I'm a virgin." I'd pull my hand out, and I'd smear it in a streak down his face. "Get out of my house, you little bitch," I'd probably say, and he would break eye contact and look at the floor as he hurried out, muttering "Yes sir, sorry sir." Once he closed the door behind him, I'd call out "Kajira!" for my slave to come over, and I'd lean to take a grape from her tray, and quietly instruct her to pull the fire alarm at his hotel.

brb putting this in my book

[SmootsDaddy89]

"What is this white man doing on my couch?"

[uncfan888]

5 hours ago, rodeo said:

If I got home and saw that on my couch, I'd drop my keys in surprise and be like "What the fug are you doing here?" Russell would say something like "I saw the things you said on the Huddle about me. I'm very upset." I'd knit my brows angrily and approach, one of my hands pressing onto the back of the couch as I loomed down over him. I'd say something like "Is that really why you came here," and he'd shake his head. I'd chuckle and say I thought not, and then I'd lean closer until my lips mashed against his, and my tongue teased at the crease between his lips. He'd probably squirm like he's uncomfortable but he'd been looking forward to it for a long time. I'd undo the button of his stupid jeans and loosen them and slide my hand inside to grip him. The kiss would probably break and I'd say something like "Looks like height isn't the only place you're short." His face would probably get red and I'd feel bad, so I'd say "Don't worry, I like it," even though clearly I don't. After just a few seconds of kissing and feeling him in my hand he would erupt in my palm, and it would piss me off. He'd say something like "I'm sorry, I've never done this before. I'm a virgin." I'd pull my hand out, and I'd smear it in a streak down his face. "Get out of my house, you little bitch," I'd probably say, and he would break eye contact and look at the floor as he hurried out, muttering "Yes sir, sorry sir." Once he closed the door behind him, I'd call out "Kajira!" for my slave to come over, and I'd lean to take a grape from her tray, and quietly instruct her to pull the fire alarm at his hotel.

 

 

[arbnranger]

9 hours ago, KendrickPanther said:

Id act like a West Virginian.

Nice

It took me a while but I got it...

Had to go back to it to pie. 

[Squirrel]

Sell the couch to a Seahawks fan for 1 billion dollars.