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Philadelphia is now ON NOTICE!!!

Zod

By Zod,
in Carolina Panthers

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Zod Grand Master

Zod

Posted
Posted

Listen up Philadelphia, you are now ON NOTICE!!!!!

Friends, I have spent the entire offseason fermenting and festering the angst in my digestive tract. Its been eating away at me like toothless GFE, nawing and gumming my rage into existence. The horrible horrible home playoff loss like a ravenous pit bull slowly decomposing in my colon. Its cruel and tortured life the turtle head of what could have been.

The time has come to poop, my friends, and poop I shall.

The Carolina Panthers this week begin the process of complete NFL domination, their witless victims the Philadelphia Eagles. Philadelphia, meeting place of the First Continental Congress, birthplace of Liberty, and home of the absolute worst fans any sports team has to offer. They aren't the taint of the NFL fans, they are the sweaty grime one wipes off said taint after a day of September tailgating.

I almost feel sorry for the Eagles and their fans. They have absolutely no clue about what is in store for them this Sunday. How will they cope with tens of fans standing and cheering for the Panthers, just before they ware escorted out of the stadium for being to loud? Has the Eagles offense made adjustments and audibles to minimize the crowds hushed chants of “here is my VIC card, the answer is two!” What will be the visiting Eagle fans method of dealing with the endless Panther fans verbal lashings of “Can I buy you a beer?” or the dreaded “Hope you have a great time, please enjoy your stay!”. Deal with is Eagles fans, its coming and there is nothing you can do about it.

The Eagles are starting a new rookie free safety this season, "Macho" Harris. Known for his flamboyant gameplay and his very particular and eccentric style, "Macho" has become an instant fan favorite. His posters have sold out all over Philadelphia and can be seen at every bar, grill, and rest area within a 200 mile radius. It seems Philadelphia and "Macho" were made for each other...

643048981_adafJ-O.jpg

This Sunday the Panthers will dominate with their running game featuring Williams and Goodson, racking up over 200 yards and 3 touchdowns on the ground alone. The Eagles can do nothing to ease the pain the ground game will inflict except nurse the cleat marks on their backs on Monday morning.

On defense, the Panthers game plan will be to tire out the offense of the Eagles. By completely for getting to tackle and allowing them to move the ball easily down field, the Eagles players will be winded in the 4th quarter in the Carolina heat. Game Over.

In the end, I will get blitzed at the tailgate, the Panthers will win, and Eagles fans will cry themselves to sleep on their lacy satin pillows.

Panthers - 27

Eagles - 24

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rayzor Grand Master

rayzor

Posted
Posted

Do you think they might even get wild enough to throw some cheese on the field? Dare I dream it?

:lol:

they'll throw cheese like eagles fans throw batteries.

one thing is for sure....on those 4th downs the fans are going to represent (i heard those were important).

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