Why Your Team Sucks: Bucs Edition

[Delhommey]

Your 2014 record: 2-14. And yet 2-14 doesn’t even begin to hint at how abysmal the Bucs were last season. This is the team that spotted a 6-10 Atlanta team a 56-0 lead after just three quarters, inspiring many stadium dick-pats in the process. They also managed to lose to the Rams after a Mike Evans injury resulted in a 10-second runoff of the clock. That’s life under Lovie Smith for you. You don’t even get the pleasure of seeing your team f**k up at the end of a game, because they fug up BEFORE that fugup, and squander the chance to f**k up that f**kup, and then they lose.

Also, a Bengals fan punched one of your fans right into the street. A Bengals fan! You know how weak and slow Bengals fans are? That’s like getting punched out by a dying Labrador.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-tampa-bay-buccaneers-1718991122

Lots of gold in here. These are honestly the best NFL previews outside of Football Outsiders.

[Mother Grabber]

lol...but Loviiieeeee!!!!!

[L-TownCat]

How many times can you rearrange the phrase, "well, they're Tampa Bay"?  It's amazing they got an entire article.

[usmcpanthers]

dayum I just reread our 2014 why our panthers suck and it was eerie how much of it was spot on :-(

[pantherphan96]

never forget: http://deadspin.com/buccaneers-will-stop-using-unpaid-homeless-people-to-se-1668457240#_ga=1.206241107.1571226807.1408372542

[pstall]

"..getting punched out by a dying Labrador. " lol

[JawnyBlaze]

I know this is unrelated to the topic at hand, or football at all, but I found this article while perusing deadspin after going to the bucs article:

http://kotaku.com/dont-celebrate-a-tournament-win-until-youve-actually-wo-1718907508

I laughed my ass off.  At a video game tournament (Guilty Gear Xrd is the game being played here) a guy wins a comeback round to tie a match, stands up to celebrate to the crowd thinking the match was over, and the opponent proceeds to annihilate him in the deciding round.  Hilarious.

[FuFuLamePoo]

god I remember the falcons one last year is one of the funniest things I've ever read

[The NFL Shield At Midfield]

never forget: http://deadspin.com/buccaneers-will-stop-using-unpaid-homeless-people-to-se-1668457240#_ga=1.206241107.1571226807.1408372542

when i first saw this link i assumed it was an article about the bucs letting homeless people into their games for free to fill out the stadium.  this is only a little bit better.

that reminds me of a story or a post on a forum i saw a while back about how you could get falcons tickets for literal pocket change in the 80s and you'd routinely see homeless people sleeping in the upper deck at fulton county stadium

[SCP]

That is awesome. So much better than the crap ESPN and NFLN puts out.

[mc52beast]

Bu..Bu...But day drafted Jameis Winston... He...He...He's gonna take dem to da promised land.