Interesting work stories

[Mr. Scot]

Got them? Post them!

I currently work in detention and a guy that was in my custody for about 4 months this past year just murder suicided himself last night, kinda wild feeling, you hear about this stuff but you never think you'll be in a situation of "oh I know that guy". So it got me thing about how weird my work situation is, and how it differs from anything you might consider normal.

I've seen someone going through detox so bad that they covers themselves with poo because they were hallucinating. 2 people are still walking today because I physically stopped them from commuting suicide. And I have thrown a person across a room in the middle of a fight.

I've had poo water thrown on me.

Right now I have a guy that's been in my custody for about a year on psycho murder poo, and he's the most well behaved and normal acting of everyone I have in custody. So yeah I know a psycho murderer too!

Maybe i should complain less about my job.

I remember reading a story back when Michael Jackson was on trial about how attorneys for the accuser were looking to find ' evidence' in Jackson's undies, and got authorization to look for it. And thus. Some poor, low level staffer was assigned the job of combing through Michael Jackson's underwear drawer looking for crusty briefs.

Next time you think your job sucks...

[Hawk]

once when I was working as a volunteer firefighter down in southern Alberta...I was on my day off and was skiing at Westcastle Ski Hill.  I came across an elderly man who was having a heart attack and so I started doing CPR.  I did 40 minutes unassisted on the hill before the ski patrol guys came....another 15 minutes with a patrol guy while they bundled him up for transport off the hill...then 40 more minutes in the back of the transport van enroute to town.  5 minutes from town the van shredded a back tire which then took out the gas line to the van and shortly there after we rolled to a stop on the side of the road.  The van driver took over for me for about 10 minutes before the ambulance came at which time I took over again with my colleagues until the doctor at the emergency room told me I could stop because he was dead!

 

what....every story has a happy ending?  no.

[Captroop]

At one of my previous jobs, we got this stunning black receptionist, and as my best friend at work was the facility manager who technically was her boss, the three of us hung out a lot. She had this recurring wednesday appointment that took her out of the office early in the afternoon. She is a single mom with a young kid, so my buddy didn't break her balls about it much. One night over beers, however, he finally asks her what this recurring Wednesday appointment it. She tells us it's one of her regular clients. This, as you might expect, gets our attention.

So she lays out the story for us. Outside of work, she is a $300/hr BDSM escort. She has a politician client in DC she pays a visit to on Wednesdays. "A politician?" we ask. Yes, she says, she has many members of Congress as her clientele. We press her for names, clues, hints, anything. She won't tip her hand. She just says, "Republican." In addition to garden variety fetishists, and a cadre of Senators, she also told us she had Washington Redskins as clients. She wouldn't say who or how many.

So one day we're chatting at the reception desk, and FedEx arrives with a package for her. She is visibly excited. She takes the two of us to my buddy's office (one of the few in the building with a locking door and no windows). She strips down to her skivvies, and busts out this enormous black strap-on. Imagine two stacked cans of coke, and you've got some idea. She then remarks how much her clients are going to love it.

So any time you want to get in an argument with Republicans about gay marriage, abortion, etc. Just bear in mind, there's a good-to-fair chance the politician arguing for a return to morality is spending his night getting gauged by an unwed single mother black BDSM escort.

I tell you, living in DC give you a whole new respect (or lack thereof) for what exactly politics is.

[Hawk]

just curious...did she lube you up first?

[Darth Biscuit]

Last summer while working a security internship at the Barclays Center I was allowed to work closely with and shadow Katy Perry's tour security manager for her show that evening. Hours before the show her head of security and I were waiting for her arrival...he had informed me that she was biking to the arena from Manhattan with some of her friends rather than being driven in. Two SUVs followed closely behind and in front of her while she and three friends made the trip over the bridge and into Brooklyn. 

The Barclays Center has a massive freight elevator meant for large trucks, busses, and any other vehicles so they can get down to the event level of the arena and unload because parking is nonexistent surrounding the venue. The first SUV   pulls in and heads to the front of the elevator. Katy and her friends on bikes follow, and the final SUV pulls in behind them. Her security manager and I step in and begin our descent. In the meantime, one of Katy's friends has taken Katy's dog from one of the SUVs, placed the dog in the basket attached to the front of his bike, and tied the leash to the basket. 

There is a rather large gap between the elevator and concrete floor at ground level. Not to mention the concrete is several inches higher than the elevator at its lowest point. The first SUV pulls forward and parks, and Katy and her friends begin pedaling fast towards her changing room. As the final biker with Katy's dog in his basket hits that gap and concrete floor exiting the elevator, the dog (leashed) falls out of the basket and begins being strangled and dragged by its neck while the biker struggles to slow down. I hear Katy scream out "She's choking!" Immediately I ran to the dog from behind and scooped her up to stop its suffering. The biker unties the leash and I hand the puppy over. Katy has circled back at this point on her bike and next thing I know I am being hugged by and thanked generously from Katy Perry. I hugged Katy Perry. It was awesome. 

[Bronn]

In my employment history:

I've unloaded two 150+ lbs meteorites with my bare hands... Literally holding potentially billions of years of history in my hands...

I've seen fragments of the Dead Sea Scrolls and witnessed their heavily armed (fully auto MP5s) escorts swap out the fragments on display...

I've been in a closed room with a loose Egyptian cobra...

I've met and spoken with several celebrities/athletes...

I've had a sewage line bust in a ceiling above me and had it rain down on me for a split second... Had to go get shots for that one...

Those are the ones that stand out the most, but I can say I have had some pretty interesting things I've dealt with on the job in the past.

[Doc Holiday]

once when I was working as a volunteer firefighter down in southern Alberta...I was on my day off and was skiing at Westcastle Ski Hill.  I came across an elderly man who was having a heart attack and so I started doing CPR.  I did 40 minutes unassisted on the hill before the ski patrol guys came....another 15 minutes with a patrol guy while they bundled him up for transport off the hill...then 40 more minutes in the back of the transport van enroute to town.  5 minutes from town the van shredded a back tire which then took out the gas line to the van and shortly there after we rolled to a stop on the side of the road.  The van driver took over for me for about 10 minutes before the ambulance came at which time I took over again with my colleagues until the doctor at the emergency room told me I could stop because he was dead!

 

what....every story has a happy ending?  no.

I have a friend that's a emt, and she has told me stories about how she had to keep doing cpr for on a obviously dead guy because they can't stop till a doctor says they're dead. I understand that some what but if the dude hasn't breathed for 10 min he ded.

[Doc Holiday]

Maybe i should complain less about my job.

I remember reading a story back when Michael Jackson was on trial about how attorneys for the accuser were looking to find ' evidence' in Jackson's undies, and got authorization to look for it. And thus. Some poor, low level staffer was assigned the job of combing through Michael Jackson's underwear drawer looking for crusty briefs.

Next time you think your job sucks...

It may surprise you but my chief complaint about my job is the people I work with, and I'm not talking about inmates. inmates are going to be stupid, that I expect because they are in there for a reason. My coworkers on the other hand is a different story. Most of them are there because it's a decent paying job and they are pretty much incapable of doing anything else. I'm there because it's kind of a foot in the door job to law enforcement. I'm only planning to do this till next April and then move on from there.

[Hawk]

I have a friend that's a emt, and she has told me stories about how she had to keep doing cpr for on a obviously dead guy because they can't stop till a doctor says they're dead. I understand that some what but if the dude hasn't breathed for 10 min he ded.

that was our protocol....you keep going until either a doctor pronounces the patient dead or you are physically unable to continue...and I wasn't going to stop.

[pantherphan96]

once when I was working as a volunteer firefighter down in southern Alberta...I was on my day off and was skiing at Westcastle Ski Hill.  I came across an elderly man who was having a heart attack and so I started doing CPR.  I did 40 minutes unassisted on the hill before the ski patrol guys came....another 15 minutes with a patrol guy while they bundled him up for transport off the hill...then 40 more minutes in the back of the transport van enroute to town.  5 minutes from town the van shredded a back tire which then took out the gas line to the van and shortly there after we rolled to a stop on the side of the road.  The van driver took over for me for about 10 minutes before the ambulance came at which time I took over again with my colleagues until the doctor at the emergency room told me I could stop because he was dead!

 

what....every story has a happy ending?  no.

after 40 minutes of CPR i think its a done deal

[lightsout]

I'm a cop. Had a verbal domestic call where the husband was mad that his "lesbo wife" (his words) was in a bedroom with the hot female neighbor with sex toys for two hours. Room was filled with various...instruments.

 

Odd night.