Balls + Heater = Low hanging fruit

[Jase]

You're right, there's way too many balls in the nfl for just one person to be the czar of.  there shall be many ball czars, as many ball czars that there needs to be in order to ensure all balls are handled properly during games. 

 

I do know that QBs prefer the balls to have some texture on them so they're easier to grip.  Now that everyone will probably be getting extra smooth new balls to play with, is there going to be some kind of ball scratching specialist that will rough the balls up a little bit,  or are there going to be slick balls sliding all over the place next year?  These are the questions we need answered.

[Khaki Lackey]

"Balls" said the Queen, "If I had them, I'd be king."

[SCP]

I do know that QBs prefer the balls to have some texture on them so they're easier to grip.  Now that everyone will probably be getting extra smooth new balls to play with, is there going to be some kind of ball scratching specialist that will rough the balls up a little bit,  or are there going to be slick balls sliding all over the place next year?  These are the questions we need answered.

 

Kind of like a Fluffer in the pr0n industry, this person in charge of scratching the smooth balls can be called a Scuffer and can report directly to the Ball Czar.

[blackcat]

I do know that QBs prefer the balls to have some texture on them so they're easier to grip.  Now that everyone will probably be getting extra smooth new balls to play with, is there going to be some kind of ball scratching specialist that will rough the balls up a little bit,  or are there going to be slick balls sliding all over the place next year?  These are the questions we need answered.

 

Per the Ball Czar, there will be no manipulation, fondling, or other adjustments made to said balls.

[t96]

What an immature thread...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love it.

[SCP]

We need to keep this thread going until people start drunk posting later tonight. Could be some comedic gold.

[SCP]

Hierarchy of the Ball Department:

Goodell

Ball Czar

Scuffer

Ball Boy

UPS

Wilson

[CarolinaAllDay]

We were countering the loss of psi via low temperatures.

Maybe we should get fined for inflating balls?

[YourMomsLover]

I heart SCP threads

[YourMomsLover]

This thread is deep....

Balls deep.

[YourMomsLover]

We need to keep this thread going until people start drunk posting later tonight. Could be some comedic gold.

Oh I plan on it. Balls, and 4 Steel Reserve 211s

[Moorgan]

We need to keep this thread going until people start drunk posting later tonight. Could be some comedic gold.

I'm gonna miss it tonight but I expect several laughs in the morning.

[The Lobo]

So, wait a minute; warming footballs up during a cold game is cheating?  I know the Patriots are being children by bring MInny and us into this mess, but is it really a rule infraction?  What about when teams wipe off balls when it rains or if the ball gets wet.  Every team does this, is this cheating as well?  What a bunch of f@#$%^& s!@#.

[h0llywood]

LOL it was so fuggin cold that game Starbucks was selling coffee on a stick.