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Bad friend

lola

By lola,
in Huddle Lounge

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Cuttinedge Community Regular

Cuttinedge

Posted
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I invited her and her son to my daughter's birthday party at Monkey Joe's. She said she was coming and even went so far as to call and ask me what she wanted as a gift. I get a text from her while I'm at the birthday party saying she's getting her taxes done and can't make it. It infuriates me, not only because it was after the party started, but I paid for her child and it was like the millionth time she's cancelled. The way she did it and the excuse she gave seemed so lame and like a blatant attempt at being hurtful. It worked.

shes a dumba$$ that can't schedule her priorities correctly. Besides that it's a lack of respect for you and your friendship. You deserve better move on.
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Zcustom Newbie

Zcustom

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I would be direct and ask what's going on. Time is hard to come by for most people these days, it is rude to cancel last minute though.

Either she is over-promising her time or your instincts are right. Just ask her, a true friend with genuine intentions won't mind but a lying bitch will probably get offended. At least you'll know what the deal is

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Darth Biscuit Mentor

Darth Biscuit

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I invited her and her son to my daughter's birthday party at Monkey Joe's. She said she was coming and even went so far as to call and ask me what she wanted as a gift. I get a text from her while I'm at the birthday party saying she's getting her taxes done and can't make it. It infuriates me, not only because it was after the party started, but I paid for her child and it was like the millionth time she's cancelled. The way she did it and the excuse she gave seemed so lame and like a blatant attempt at being hurtful. It worked.

 

 

Sounds to me like someone who just lives in the moment and doesn't give a crap about other people.  She probably had every intention of going to the party, but something else came up and she decided that doing her taxes right then was more important than taking her kid to your party. In other words, she's an asshole.  

 

I'm with Z, be blunt and tell her it bothers you, that you value her friendship, but that since this is not the first time something like this has happened, you feel like there's something she's not telling you and see what she says.  Otherwise, I'd drop her off your contact list and just be done with her.

 

I have a "friend" that hasn't taken things this far, but he'll contact me every so often to play golf, etc. and everything is fine.  But if I ask him to do something, he's always busy.  My wife and his are friends, and we sometimes go to their house and hang out, but they'll never come to our house... honestly it's kind of weird.  So, I just ignore them/him now... seems to work.

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Panthro Collaborator

Panthro

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My wife has some friends like that. Now she only invites them to do group activities so when they flake she is still able to have fun with others. When they do show up they have a great time. Some people are just flakes.She works 50 hours a week so her time off is precious and cant be wasted by flaky people.

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lola Newbie

lola

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My wife has some friends like that. Now she only invites them to do group activities so when they flake she is still able to have fun with others. When they do show up they have a great time. Some people are just flakes.She works 50 hours a week so her time off is precious and cant be wasted by flaky people.

Exactly. I don't have time for this. I have too many kids and too many responsibilities to waste my time. It's just that, I thought she was a good friend and I don't have many of those...

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Mol3m4n Mentor

Mol3m4n

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Friends are rare to come by. I'm not saying go out of your way to be her friend, but I would show compassion. Maybe she really couldn't make it on those days. My best friend is always busy, be it with work, family, or school. That doesn't mean that we won't hang out eventually. Life just throws a lot on people sometimes.

(My fiancé is having your same problem. )

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Panthro Collaborator

Panthro

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I just saw a "Sack Me Kuechly" sweatshirt in the airport. I was going to take a picture because we all know anything dealing with Luke cheers you up. However, the woman was moving too fast and I felt like a creep. Either way, you should find this hoodie.

 

You're still a creep

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pstall Newbie

pstall

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Sounds to me like someone who just lives in the moment and doesn't give a crap about other people. She probably had every intention of going to the party, but something else came up and she decided that doing her taxes right then was more important than taking her kid to your party. In other words, she's an asshole.

I'm with Z, be blunt and tell her it bothers you, that you value her friendship, but that since this is not the first time something like this has happened, you feel like there's something she's not telling you and see what she says. Otherwise, I'd drop her off your contact list and just be done with her.

I have a "friend" that hasn't taken things this far, but he'll contact me every so often to play golf, etc. and everything is fine. But if I ask him to do something, he's always busy. My wife and his are friends, and we sometimes go to their house and hang out, but they'll never come to our house... honestly it's kind of weird. So, I just ignore them/him now... seems to work.

I have a similar buddy like this. I genuinely enjoy hanging with him but he tries to make everything on his terms. Im always the flexible one for last minute stuff but if i text and go hey next thrs lets grab a beer its like pulling teeth for him to commit.

And every time we have a bunch of guys that are going to a movie without fail he suggests another place after we all have agreed on a place. Dude makes things complicated

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