How Dave Gettlemen helped me master Valentine's Day

[Chaos]

I am the Minnesota Vikings GM of Valentines Day, forgetting to turn in my draft card.

[ItsPantone278]

I popped the question September last year. Also bought an iPad mini 3 for Christmas. I'm gonna ride that on through to her bday in August where we normally spend her bday going to fan fest or some other panthers related venture. I consider myself a lucky man.

[CarolinaNCSU]

Bring the Gettleman Soundboard into the bedroom and let the fun begin. 

 

 

[MHS831]

If you can work in a few bup bup bups in the bedroom and record it I'll PayPal you $5.

 

Might take a few months, but I will try.

 

[MHS831]

I thought you were gonna say you released your girl because the value just wasn't there.

 

Not there yet, but she needs to up her game if she wants a statue out front.

 

[MHS831]

I popped the question September last year. Also bought an iPad mini 3 for Christmas. I'm gonna ride that on through to her bday in August where we normally spend her bday going to fan fest or some other panthers related venture. I consider myself a lucky man.

 

I put a ring in my gals' glass at the restaurant and she accepted--to the waiter.   I got her an Ipad and the first thing she did was open a Match.com account.  I took our first-first born child to the carnival for a little father-son bonding.  I give him $20 and tell him, "Go ahead son.  Do whatever you want!"  He takes a cab home.

 

 

---Mhs Dangerfield

 

I will be here all week.

 

[MV%doe]

The trick is to blaze your own path. Its very very hard to do this in this day and era, but its possible. You can have a much better time if everyday is a valentine day, or don't allow yourself to fall for the market BS. Been in both deals, its super fun going shopping after valentines day........50-75% off?!? my woman can have whatever she wants. Flowers shop are almost giving them away afterwards, $50 marked up down to $9.99.

Or the dream deal of every day being valentines, "baby everyday is valentines day with you". Stoopid crazy in love couples have benefits.

[PandaPancake]

Sorry, your cap hit is too big. Going to have to let you go

[Khaki Lackey]

When you get caught cheating :

"I was filling my needs with free agents."

[jasonluckydog]

I bought my old lady a puppy as few weeks ago that should cover me till Christmas.

[SCP]

(I am risking abuse here, but I thought you all might enjoy this during the offseason. Besides, it is as good as most of the other threads)

Valanetine's day, Anniversaries, Birthdays--what do they all have in common? Opportunities for me to screw up. For me, One is in February, the next is in April, and another in August. So I spend most of the warm-weather months in the doghouse or on the couch. Not any more, thanks to Dave Gettlemen!

1. Valentine's Day is a lot like the draft: Don't think of 2015, think of 2016. By planning a year in advance, it helps me to realize that spending too much in 2015 only makes 2016 more challenging. By keeping the gesture of love modest and simplistic (translation: inexpensive), you never have to worry about disappointing the following year, assuming of course, there is one. Still, you have to take that chance. There is nothing worse than having a woman love you for your materialism on the outside when you are hating your last-year self on the inside. Do not work against your future self-keep the bar low.

2. Respect the cap. Sure, it is great to fall in love and spend big bucks on people you love, but remember that Valentine contracts are back loaded. You are always happy in the beginning, but when the tread wears off the tires and the person you love starts showing signs of aging, paying more than before is going to be a hard pill to swallow. A simple rule here: You are paying for future production and not past performance.

3. Shop at the Dollar Store and Tah-get: Again, why shop at the high dollar stores when you can get production at a huge discount? I guarantee those cocoa trees and silk worms did not know or care what store they were producing chocolate or panties for--neither should you. In fact, you might luck out and find a box of chocolates wrapped in some exotic underwear for $9.99 at Staples or something. Of course, you get the small box, and if she asks why, you tell her "So the underwear will fit when you are done." Thanks Dave!

4. Remember, "offense scores points, defense wins championships." We are trying to score points and disregard championships. Rings in this arena are usually a sign of decreased playing time and, in some cases, defeat. Scoring is all that matters, so be offensive. I plan on it.

I thought I would share my newly-found wisdom with you guys so you can tweak your strategy this year. Forget the Marty Hurney approach--emptying the bank account for what you already have, or trading what you have for lesser talent. Go Gettlemen, and follow his advice and you can't go wrong.

This is fugging genius.

[SCP]

I remember before I got married, I was a young college talent evaluator. One night I got hammered on Stoli and went with a hogmolly because I lost a bet with a friend.

[panthers55]

If you are married or a poor college student you might get away with that cheap ass advice.  But I can surely tell you if you are dating  and want to impress, going cheap gets you nothing.  As in if you want to get lucky, you get nothing. On the other hand you don't have to buy an expensive ring either.  Woman are romantic so flowers, a romantic movie (50 shades of gray may work for some folks and send others to the car) and a thoughtful handmade card work wonders.

 

Look at Gettleman, do you think he scores that often on Valentine day??  Lets be real here. Why do it like him.?????

 

Buying a ring unless you are getting engaged is passe....  Going out of your way to wine and dine her at home while you cook the meal in nothing but a chef hat might gets you laughed at or laid depending on what you look like.  One word of caution: wear an apron that covers the jewels if you are cooking hot food or things that splatter.  Just saying..... 

[panthers55]

I remember before I got married, I was a young college talent evaluator. One night I got hammered on Stoli and went with a hogmolly because I lost a bet with a friend.

And then you married her??????

 

Edit:Not saying you wife isnt beautiful or terrific simply where were you going with this????