Football vs. Vajayjay? For humor. Curmudgeons & stick-in-the-muds need not read.

[top dawg]

OK, OK, I am trying to keep it G-rated and lighthearted. This is really for the purposes of humor.  

 

I was lounging in bed the other morning---just kicking it on the Huddle---trying to read and listen to my wife in the background at the same time. As for listening to my wife, it was more like hearing noises. But it wasn't purposefully mind you, it was just like natural.  Well my wife said something that kind of got my attention. She said, "I was taking to (so-and-so) the other day, and I told her I couldn't honesty say that you would choose (vajayjay) over football.  She continued, "So would you choose (vajayjay) over football if you could only have one or the other for the rest of your life?"  I laughed her off and told her to stop being silly, and told her that I refused to answer such a silly question.  But you know how in the movies that a couple is having a serious discussion in bed, then someone--usually the woman---rolls over and stares off into space in deep contemplation, well I did that (not really).

 

Now I gotta tell you, if this were 20 years ago I wouldn't even have given it a second thought.  I wasn't as hardcore of a football fan as I am now, the Panthers were just getting off the ground, and I was young and hungry.  Now, before someone starts joking, I am still in tip-top condition and fortunately don't have any problems at all, but literally thousands of times later, you just figure out that (vajayjay) isn't the end all in life.  Among a couple of other passions, the NFL is right there near the top of the list. Could I possibly be happy without the NFL for the rest of my life?  That would really take a huge chunk out of life's appreciation from where I am sitting. But...(vajayjay) is a powerful thing...maybe the only thing when you get right down to it.   

 

Now I don't blame all you young bucks for thinking that this mid-forty year old is crazy for even proposing such a question. I really don't necessarily think that younger men can even necessarily identify with such a thought, and Lord forbid that a teen would choose football over a piece, but suffice it to say that thank goodness that men can have both in their lives (or the human race as we know it might end).

 

Edit:  For the rest of your life, people

[Squirrel]

Depends on the Vajayjay.  Quality Vajayay like Panthers football.  Vajayay

Mediocre Vajayay like the Ravens maybe

Sinky Vajayay like the Saints. Football

[†William Moore†]

Gotta be the P 

[top dawg]

Depends on the Vajayjay.  Quality Vajayay like Panthers football.  Vajayay

Mediocre Vajayay like the Ravens maybe

Sinky Vajayay like the Saints. Football

 

You literally had me in tears.  I think that you're downplaying the quality of the Ravens vajayjay though.

[Daeavorn]

Whynotboth.jpg

[Dex]

[Cyberjag]

What the hell, I'm 50 and have two hands.  I'll take football.

[AceBoogie]

Alright who's the er "guy"that picked football?

[JJman Returns]

All of the above?

[Cyberjag]

Alright who's the er "guy"that picked football?

 

Dude, at my age it's asking me if I want 10 minutes of fun one day a week if I'm lucky, or hours of entertainment on Friday night, all weekend long, and on Monday night too.  And just TRY to have a beer while you enjoy the vajayjay.  Not in my house, buddy!  And have you ever heard of tailgating for married sex? 

[PhillyB]

football

[Growl]

so vajayjay is code for sex right

[Jackofalltrades]

Easy, football.

[KendrickPanther]

Well we can thank the good lord we aren't forced to choose between the two. In fact you can have them both at the same time. Football and VayJayjay have one subtle difference. No matter how many times the Panthers break my heart, I will always be there for them. Vayjayjay on the other hand is replaceable.