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National Lampoon Panther Vacation

SCP

By SCP,
in Carolina Panthers

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SCP Enthusiast

SCP

Posted
Posted

Panther fans! Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned Panther season. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm NFL emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Playoff run since Shannon Sharpe caught TD passes from Johnny f*cking Elway. And when Nippleshorts squeezes his fat white ass behind that podium at the end of the season, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.

Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Dave Gettleman, our GM, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Mint and Moorehead with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey poo he is! Hallelujah! Holy poo! Where's the Tylenol?

http://youtu.be/TQXuazYI_YU

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Shitter's full! Happy Thanksgiving!

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