Why Your Team Sucks: Carolina Panthers

[Delhommey]

1. They guaranteed Jake Delhomme $20 million. Even worse, Delhomme's massive contract extension all but ensures he'll remain with the team for three more years at the minimum. That's a terrifying prospect given just how truly, spectacularly awful he was against Arizona in the playoffs in January. Everyone has bad games, true. But this was more than that. Delhomme's performance that night was a flaming sh*twreck so profound in its ineptness that a mere nine-month break will do little to wash away its searing memory. It was a defining masterpiece of sh**tiness. From now until the day he hangs up his cleats, every football fan watching Jake Delhomme play quarterback will do so with the same measure of trepidation a mafia witness has while turning a car key. Oh sure, maybe he'll have the occasional 300 yard game this season, and maybe the Panthers will win 11 games again and win the division. But that will do little to ease the skepticism, to dull the anticipation most fans of have seeing Delhomme inevitably crumble once more. It's like waiting for Britney to get fat again. It's a fait accompli. Everything between now and that moment is just window dressing, for when the real Delhomme comes back out, throwing passes to areas where there are no teammates, and giving us the unforgettable gifs we crave so very much.

http://deadspin.com/5339329/why-your-team-sucks-carolina-panthers

[stankowalski]

Totally agree.

[howard johnson]

I agree without even having to read it.

[jramsey4]

I actually agree with him on this one. Jake is probably the most inconsistent passer (next to maybe Romo) in the NFL. One game hes hot the next he throws 3 ints, the next he throws 3 tds, the one after that 5 ints and a fumble. You really never know what your going to get with him until about the end of the 1st period. But as most will say who really could we have gotten if we had tried this off-season. And who said hurney didn't look and try to deal for a QB. None of us especially you, Drew Magary, know what happened in our FO.

[Aschobel4theSack]

I agree without even having to read it.

Me too... Why does a Fox coach kittens?

[jramsey4]

Actually Romo's pretty consistent he sucks in Dec and Jan every year so at least he has that.

[Gman was right]

Will I be banned for saying I couldnt agree more?

[Jangler]

Me too... Why does a Fox coach kittens?

Think the coach is sexy do ya?

[Fireball77]

So....who on this board wrote this thing? lol

[Peppers90 NC]

Yawn, boring article from a wrestling meatball/fantasy nerd. Nice rant booger eater.

[Saint J]

they did this for all 32 teams.

[LiQuiD]

I can relate to the whole watching Jake play with the same trepidation as a mafia witness starting his car. It has been that way for me for a long time. It's like when you were a kid and you watched the scary parts of a movie peeking out from between the fingers covering your eyes. That's me on any given Sunday.

I'm behind him all the way, but I can't avoid the thought before each game "how's Jake gonna fug it up today?"

[Tinkerdog]

I just don't know what to say............ :confused:

You could do a WHOLE LOT WORSE for a quarteback in the NFL......

if I remember correctly, we went 12 and 4 last season before the blowup and won the Division..... :leaving:

and the team that spanked us went to the SUPERBOWL and ALMOST WON IT!! :eek:

I believe that Delhomme was not playing on DEFENSE when we were getting blown of the field.....the one that cost us that game is now gone.... and good riddance....

So I don't want to hear a bunch of whining about Delhomme.... :cuss:

[natty]

I actually agree with him on this one. Jake is probably the most inconsistent passer (next to maybe Romo) in the NFL. One game hes hot the next he throws 3 ints, the next he throws 3 tds, the one after that 5 ints and a fumble. You really never know what your going to get with him until about the end of the 1st period. But as most will say who really could we have gotten if we had tried this off-season. And who said hurney didn't look and try to deal for a QB. None of us especially you, Drew Magary, know what happened in our FO.

Woot! Delhomme is like a box of chocolates!