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fug you NFL Network. fug you so so so hard.

PhillyB

By PhillyB,
in Carolina Panthers

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The Other Colbert Newbie

The Other Colbert

Posted
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I have missed two Panthers games in eight years: one in 2006 when I went camping with a girl I was trying to get with (she shot my ass down) and another in 2010 when I was in Thailand (and those games were pretty expendable anyway.) I refuse to work Sundays at any job I work.

 

Fast forward to this week. Lots of poo happening at my bar. I told them I could take the shift, because even though the hotel is going to be filled with dumbass middle school teachers who will invariably line up at my bar and take sixteen minutes to order some bullshit with Malibu rum and grenadine and then bitch that they can't taste the liquor in their pineapple juice, I still have a television mounted against the far wall of the bar, so I can at least peer over their slovenly hairdos to watch David Foucault pancake Saints players all the way into Sean Payton's drug stash under the gatorade cooler on the sideline.

 

But then what happens? I go onto NFL.com to look up Kelvin Benjamin's rookie stats so I can comment in the all-rookie team thread with a projection of his stats for the year, and what's the first article?

 

 

 

 

Use a lot of big mirrors.

 

You're welcome.

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Jimmy Newbie

Jimmy

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Those living in the Triad (Winston-Salem, Greensboro, High Point market) we don't get it locally. 

 

Instead we get to select from the following:

 

It's the Great Pumkin,Charlie Brown

Big Bang Theory

Bones

The Biggest Loser (ironic, no?)

 

Good thing I'm in Atlantic Beach right now doing some surf fishing or I'd be getting drunk with no football, hoping for the 35th year in a row that the Great Pumpkin shows up and Linus can finally tell everyone to "eat it".

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Paintballr Newbie

Paintballr

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Those living in the Triad (Winston-Salem, Greensboro, High Point market) we don't get it locally.

Instead we get to select from the following:

It's the Great Pumkin,Charlie Brown

Big Bang Theory

Bones

The Biggest Loser (ironic, no?)

Good thing I'm in Atlantic Beach right now doing some surf fishing or I'd be getting drunk with no football, hoping for the 35th year in a row that the Great Pumpkin shows up and Linus can finally tell everyone to "eat it".

Edit....stupid link won't work....anyways Google o great pumpkin robot chicken

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PhillyB Grand Master

PhillyB

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thanks for the feedback everyone. unfortunately switching feeds isn't really an option for a number of reasons. the tv that does show it is literally four steps away to the right of my bar, it's just faced away from the bar so i can't see it.

 

if it's not automatically showing up on CBS for home markets (i hadn't thought about that) i'll just have to pray to all the gods i can think of that the paul mccartney concert lasts until the final whistle so i don't have to deal with the crowds and fend off the swarms of math teachers that take ten minutes to decide they just want a bud light and ironically can't add tips to totals properly. oh well we'll probably lose anyway.

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