help me write my book

[PhillyB]

Darth and Monsta covered the two main things I was thinking when I was reading the chapters. 

 

Only part I got bored during was when you went into mapping out your trip, i found my self skimming. (thought you might want to know that, could just be a me thing)

 

The relational stuff is great.  You dad definitely comes across like an ass hole, which is fine just make sure you're OK with that and let me issue a warning that your wife might not like some of the stuff you say about Sophia specifically when you say I don’t think I had really hit it off with anyone like I did with Sophia. Ever. Again not saying you shouldn't include it, just be ready for the backlash. 

 

 

Good line that brought up a lot of emotion in me- "I was no one’s son and held no one’s expectations; I was Philip Arthur Blattenberger and I was going to go to Australia." 

 

i absolutely want to know that (re: the skimming.) as i mentioned earlier one of the toughest things as a writer is knowing when something is interesting and when it's just interesting to you. and it's easy to get stuck in a little hole and lose all sense of perspective and either ramble on about something noooooobody cares about or just blip over really good material because you think it's boring.

 

i originally intended for the stuff about my dad to be a blip on the radar, but the more i wrote the more he came to the surface, especially as i tried to tailor the narrative to explain my shifting in worldviews.

 

re: my wife… when i sat down and starting writing this one of the things i decided was to write everything unedited, without changing names to protect the innocent and without considering the political ramifications that could come about in the circle of people i know. not that these aren't important, and not that i won't take them into consideration, but i fear dulling the edges of what could otherwise be extremely poignant portions of the story because i attempted to mollify an audience that's not even seen it yet. i will change names and make edits like that once the book is complete and past the first round of editing.

 

lastly, i'm glad to hear that last part. that's one of those things i was really worried came across as kitschy and overplayed. there's a fine line between bearing one's heart and flaunting it on one's sleeve; hitting the right note on those sorts of things is one of the most difficult things to do (especially to sustain it.)

 

huge thanks for the input.

[PhillyB]

post.

 

more.

 

chapters.

 

i hope to god the general public feels this way. haha

 

i'm going to re-tool the first three chapters based on what everyone's suggested and re-post if it's significant enough (and just snippets if not.) if any of you have the stamina to keep contributing then i will be deeply in your debt.

 

i don't know if i'll post too much more from here on out unless i've got specific constructive questions, now that i've got the foundation laid, but i'm sure material will surface here and there :)

[TheRumGone]

i hope to god the general public feels this way. haha

i'm going to re-tool the first three chapters based on what everyone's suggested and re-post if it's significant enough (and just snippets if not.) if any of you have the stamina to keep contributing then i will be deeply in your debt.

i don't know if i'll post too much more from here on out unless i've got specific constructive questions, now that i've got the foundation laid, but i'm sure material will surface here and there :)

Cool man. The only advice I can give is to make sure this isn't a into the wild knock off. Cause there are major similarities in the storyline. I was engrossed in the story though

[Mvp2014]

Matt sounds like a nozzle.  Ill keep reading when I can.  So far so good.

[PhillyB]

Cool man. The only advice I can give is to make sure this isn't a into the wild knock off. Cause there are major similarities in the storyline. I was engrossed in the story though

 

excellent point. this book will diverge thematically from into the wild, and unlike chris mccandless i do not end my story dead in the back of a bus, but i will be careful.

[TheRumGone]

excellent point. this book will diverge thematically from into the wild, and unlike chris mccandless i do not end my story dead in the back of a bus, but i will be careful.

Yes that is the major difference lol

[jasonluckydog]

I loved it can't be real critical cause I fug up the words there, their, they're all the time. English is my 2nd and 1st language.

I would buy your book though

[jasonluckydog]

If you want to be a best seller I would set the story in Westeros

[frash.exe]

I got sucked into the story so I think you're doing it right

[stirs]

I suppose I would want to know, why Austrailia?  Why not bike to Alaska?

 

Why not Europe, the Rocky Mountains, Hawaii.  What was the draw from down under?

[Bronn]

I meant to add that I could definitely hear a narrator in my head as I was reading this... kinda like I was watching a movie and a guy was about to tell us the story of his life, and this was the first part...

I don't think that is a bad thing.

[Bronn]

Also, you should see Into the Wild if you have never seen it.

[TheRumGone]

Also, you should read Into the Wild if you have never read it.

Ftfy

[Porn Shop Clerk]

i wrote a short story about a necromancer undergoing a gender alteration ritual in a fictional presumerian culture but its far to sexually graphic to post on these forums

 

that poo would be hilarious though