PhillyB

i wonder if tillman could see time in the nickel.

the funch looks smooth as hell

​ehh, it wouldn't surprise me. there's a fair amount of expats here, but it's definitely a lot easier to live off the grid in laos than anywhere else in southeast asia. cost of living is incredibly low, so if you came here with some cash and some measure of sustainability you could do very well for yourself for a very long time. unless you step on UXO, then you're boned

​gay

​we secretly bombed the jesus out of laos until 1973, which at present is the most bombed country in the history of the universe, so chances are he stepped on UXO and vaporized four decades ago ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

​they laugh and take your money. $1 = 8,000 Lao Kip and buys one 330ml can of BeerLao. after tonight's drunken binge i have 350k kip, which = 44 cans of Beer Lao. way more valuable than dead-ass cliff-strewn phillyb since beer lao is some good poo. you can slake a goddamn thirst on some beer lao

i love everyone

​jesus fuging christ im so drunk. i was working on my masters thesis and a bunch of goddamn chinese girls bought me endless beers so i would take selfies with them and practice speaking elngihs. then a bunch of fuging dutch guys hung out and a french dude and this chick from austria started dancing all over my ass. then i had to poo because of lao food and then was out of toilet paper and had to do some creative poo. then we ended up all going drunk bowling with a bunch of goddamn norweigians at a bowling place in luang prabang where the backpackers go when everything else is closed. hung out with a dude from manhattan and drank a $12 bottle of rum and shot down every goddamn pair of titties from bath, UK to vancouver, BC to fuging austria that wanted my american ass and threw like three spares drunk off my ass. jesus fuging christ lao is awesome. where's josh norman? anyway, good ol' funch. gettleman got his ass a pair of 6'5" receivers finally and it's gonna pay dividends. cam has a pair of big goliath motherfugers to throw to and it's gonna be glorious. 2-5-4 packages be damned, splitting both receivers out wide and rotating PB in the slot will be deadly, especially if olsen is a secret blocker but then releases upfield after chipping his man on play action when safties have to play the underneath routes but olsen's on a fly inside. bitches gonna die

​also the real, proper cave is probably the best in the world and costs roughly $3500 USD to go explore with a guide.lots of local shitty vietnamese guides will take you to similar caves for $100USD and tell you it's son doong, but son doong is probably the best cave in the world, so if they take you there for some poo-ass backpacking price you know yo'u;re getting shafted even if it's an expensive backpacker price. ppl in southeast asia will try to rip your ass off because they think everyone's rich as fug and can pay for anything

​didn't make it there. fuging awesome according to everyone that's been, but i took a 16-hour train from hue to hanoi and then flew to laos, so idk. currently i'm drunk after playing drunk bowling with a fuging bunch of norweigan and canadian backpackers in luang prabang, so fuging fug it in the ass. funch is going to own a bunch of dudes and cam is going to have a 65+ completion % because of our new personell schemes

​the problem we had last year is we had a mismatch with kelvin benjamin, but if you put him up against slot corners, who was going to play outside? cotchery? berson? corey brown, sure, but he was still coming into his own. defenses could just bracket benjamin and let the defensive line do the rest of the work. now we have two big receivers. putting bejamin in the slot to create a mismatch means you've still got to contend with funchess/brown outside, and of course olsen. moving up to grab funchess may be the best move this franchise has made in the gettleman era so far, even better than benwikere, if it pay these kinds of dividends.

​i didn't think about it at the time... i suppose it's too late for that now. i have my doubts whether anyone would bother to seek on my blog anyway, unless it made it onto the front page here, so maybe it's just as well.

​smokescreen?

​by the highschool? surprising

After a month of sweating my ass off doing anthropology in Vietnam, I'm sitting in remote upland Laos decompressing before catching a flight back home. I spent yesterday riding a motorcycle across a mountain in monsoon season for twelve hours, so today is a lazy day, which is how I justify spending precious time in Southeast Asia on the internet writing about how we're going to be an offensive juggernaut this year. Traditionally, when the nickel defense is on the field (an OLB's spot is replaced by the third corner) it's to get some speed and athleticism on the field to combat an extra receiver on the field. This has placed the nickelback in the slot most of the time. Much has been made in the past of archetypical slot receivers: incredibly fast, deep burners, Steve Smith types that can make the nickelback play on an island deep if the safety bites on play action or hesitates to cover an outside receiver. In this tradition, nickelbacks have tended to be smaller, really athletic guys. PFF stats suggest going into last year's season that the top-rated nickelbacks were: Leon HallChris Harris Jr.Brandon BoykinWilliam GayTyrann MathieuNickell RobeyJimmy WilsonBrandon FlowersKyle WilsonDarius ButlerI calculated their average heights whilst eating Laotian ice cream overlooking the Mekong River, and came out with 5'9" as the height of the average starting nickelback at the beginning of last season. The reason this is important is because that height average is about to jump much higher over the next half decade. The dual archetypes of the slot receiver and the slot corner are changing. NFL offenses are beginning to split out huge dudes that can catch, putting the likes of Gronk and Jimmy Graham against midgets like Captain Munnerlyn and putting up countless big performances against them. The response: "big nickel" packages. Rob Ryan's vaunting sixteen-safety defense last year was a hilarious example of how not to conduct the scheme, but in general you're starting to see teams experiment with bringing a third safety onto the field instead of a nickelback in nickel packages, effectively replacing a smaller athletic guy with a big dude that might not be quite as fast or athletic but can match up with big men like Gronk (who dominate because of their size and strength anyway, rather than their speed.) Here are the Giants lining up with a third safety against the Eagles big-ass tight end package: Here are the the assbag Saints dropping Vacarro down into the box in place of the nickel: Here are the Cardinals sneaking Mathieu into a dime package but playing him like a nickel: Playing a big nickel formation makes it easier to disguise coverages, too. Look at this formation against the Saints in 2013: Drew Bree's mole yelled an audible and sent Jimmy Graham (circled) in motion. This causes the nickel back to shift out and line across from him, revealing man coverage. Dropping a third safety in there instead of the obvious nickelback makes disguising coverage much easier. With three safeties on the field in a nickel package, there's no guarantee which of the safeties are dropping back to play the deep pass and which are covering zones or an individual receiver. It can be dissected pretty quickly, but it's one extra thing the quarterback has to think about and account for. The Eagles have become recent masters of this, experimenting effectively with really bizarre lineups at safety, including single deep and two up front playing zone. IIRC it's one of the things they killed us with on MNF last year. So where does this leave the 2015 Carolina Panthers? On offense: it means we've suddenly got three receiving threats (Kelvin Benjamin, Devin Funchess, and Greg Olsen) along with a shorter guy (Corey Brown) who'd traditionally take the slot receiver role. The fact that these guys should be largely interchangeable means that teams still utilizing smaller nickels (remember, their starting average height was 5'9" going into last season!) may have to face a 6'5" receiver coming out of the slot. The addition of Funchess and the ability of Corey Brown to play from the number one receiver position is invaluable here. since Brown can kick out wide and take a safety and cornerback out of the play by himself on a post, Funchess can cut into a field devoid of defenders because backers have to account for Greg Olsen. This sticks a 6'5" man on little Captain Munnerlyns that have defined the position for so long. An offensive coordinator worth his salt can take this roster and introduce plenty of wrinkles that allow favorable mismatches. The reverse of the above scenario would be lining putting Funchess and Benjamin out there to draw Big Nickel packages and then rolling Corey Brown into the slot to take advantage of a slower safety on a deep play or a clearout. These are all options we didn't have before adding Funchess. On defense: the addition of Shaq Thompson may be warrant more excitement than the fanbase seems to be displaying. Shaq has been tabbed by many as a starting OLB, and he appears to be getting a lot of looks at the position based on initial OTA reports. However, at 6'0" with outstanding athleticism, Shaq may actually fit the precise archetype of the Big Nickel joker safety, the role we'd hoped Haruki Nakamura would take on a few years ago before he pooped all over our hopes for the 2012 campaign. Gettleman seems to think Boston and Harper are both good safeties, so Shaq's presence doesn't exclude either of them. Shaq's ability to command the OLB position may also give Rivera and McDermott some fun options for disguising plays as well. A 4-3 base with Keuchly, Davis, and Shaq as linebackers wouldn't be much different from a nickel package employing Shaq as the nickel. As an opposing offense, accounting for Shaq's role in a particular play can become complicated, especially when trying to figure out what other safeties are doing. Conclusion: Gettleman's first and second round picks both adapted to a major scheme change we're seeing on both sides of the ball in the NFL. Both are premium players at their respective positions, and should give us a significant edge in those areas. This is one of the primary reasons I expect us to be a very dangerous team in 2015.

if jonathan martin turns out to look marginal we should trade him back to the 49ers for a third round pick so they can have a roster this year

well that was fun while it lasted

​

holy poo lol

​that sounds suspiciously like work

​your give-aways are nothing to be desired

swoll bones is doomed

scott simonson stats per NFL.com

can he play lef- ahh fug it