Captroop

I'm on the opposite side. Win or lose, I just want to be ENTERTAINED! This is how I'm spending a big part of a beautiful Sunday. And this poo is BORING!

Ring. Arlo. Blink. There's lots of DIY security systems on the market these days that are very affordable. We use one and it's great for peace of mind. I get an alert on my phone in real time anytime there's movement detected around my house and I can check it out with a live camera. All clips are recorded and automatically backed up to the cloud, so if I ever see something suspicious later when I'm viewing the recordings, I can download it and share it (hasn't happened yet, except to document the neighborhood strays). And best of all, the cameras have on-board speakers, so even when I was in Vegas, I was able to harass my wife while she was gardening 2,000 miles away. I don't know why anyone would use a conventional security system anymore. Nothing like getting home from stressful travel and having to sprint to the keypad to enter my code so the cops don't show up.

Sam looks bad because the offensive line is historically bad. Quality quarterbacks don't want to play here because the offensive line is historically bad. It's almost like there's a single, precursor issue we need to resolve if we want to see improved quarterback play.

I predict this is a get right game for us. And Philly fought Tampa Bay til the last so maybe they're not the push overs everyone thought they were. We've got our offensive line starters back. They're not great, but they're not the poo show we saw last Sunday. They don't have to be great. They just need to be mediocre to win. And we've got 3 wins to prove it. The offensive finding their rhythm and sustaining drives means our defense won't be gassed, and I bet they make Cousins' day miserable. I believe we win this on Panthers 27 Vikings 13

That makes sense. He was a dependably deep punter earlier in the season but last week, he just looked like he was playing hurt. Hope he heals up.

You might say it...Jalen Hurts? I'll see myself out.

This. And this cannot be overstated. I would say one of the silver linings in the loss is Chuba coming in and shining should give the coaching staff the confidence that we can effectively spell McCaffrey...but I said that last year when Mike Davis was doing well. And they didn't learn poo. I'm so conflicted on CMC. It's great that we have one of the best players in the league. But I don't want to get too excited about him. Because I know we're gonna grind him down into a fine powder and then watch blow him away in a cloud of dust like the end of The Last Crusade. He's that shiny new toy that you never wanted to play with when you were a kid, because you knew if you broke it, you'd never get another one. Then your stupid fugging cousin came over and started smashing it into the floor.

We played a horrible looking game yesterday. I've never had my ass fall asleep on my own couch watching a game before. BUT I think yesterday's loss was not owing to the team's overall weakness, but due to a convergence of hobbling factors, that in aggregate lost us the game. And while I've got my finger resting weightlessly on the panic button, I do want to point out that if any single one of the following were true yesterday, we would have walked away with the ugly W: CMC plays: I think this really goes without saying. No disrespect to Chuba, who put together an amazing game as a rookie starter. But when you're playing without the best running back in the league, you're already at a disadvantage. And in a game where the offensive line was struggling, having a safety valve who also happens to be your most potent offensive weapon would have been a game-changer. We started out intended offensive line: I know, our starters on the O-Line are mediocre, but the protection yesterday didn't even rise to the level of mediocre. You had guys shifting positions, you started a rookie, and our guards were...woof. If we had even mediocre play from our line, I think Sam makes enough plays, or rather avoids enough mistakes to win. Charlton punted adequately: I haven't seen it mentioned anywhere, but was Charlton playing injured? He looked like he pulled a hamstring right before the game. His punts were short, and he was so unreliable we actually called a bonkers pooch punt play that horrendously backfired. I also wonder if he was playing at 100% if he would have gotten the blocked punt off fast enough. As a result we lost the field position game, and made it that much harder for our gassed defense to secure the W. If Charlton plays up to his usual ability, I think we get the W. The good news, if there's any to be had, is that these factors are either not permanent, or were inevitable. We're getting CMC back. Charlton's bad day, I'm chalking up to being anomalous. And our O-Line, we've all known we needed to shuffle the line to get our rookies on the field and try the configurations that are going to work in the long term. And the first few starts were going to be ugly. So might as well get them on the field now, and get this line experience so we can hopefully compete down the stretch this season, or set ourselves up for next year.

It's hard to blame Darnold for looking like he did when he played for the Jets when you put him behind a line that's as bad or worse than what he had in New York. We already know how he looks as a Jet. The idea was to evaluate him as a Panther. I'd like to see that too.

Yeah, I think we have to accept the fact that this team ain't going anywhere. The simple fact is we do not have a professional grade offensive line (God I get tired of saying that year after year. Fug you Gettleman). And until we do, there's no amount of scheming we can do to overcome it. And the fact is, there's nothing we can do midseason. No one is trading a quality offensive lineman, and there are no hidden gems sitting in FA. It won't be addressed til the off-season. So let the rookies take their lumps now, and see if any of them can hang in the pro game. I think Sam can be our starter, but not when he's getting sacked 4 times a day and his line is putting him in first and long every digging drive.

It was a bad throw, but this whole game is on the O line. We're just constantly moving backwards, and then giving up pressure. The throw was on Sam, but the L was on the o line.

fug.

Guess we got a kicker!

No one tell Sam it's still the 3rd quarter.

It's a good thing I like defensive Football.

Okay, I'm just gonna say, regardless of my rooting interest... This is a terrible fuging game.

Jackson is single handedly keeping us in this game. He's our friggin offense at this point.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Run Run Pass Punt. It's the bad old days all over again.

Eat a dick Rhule. JK, I still got faith in you, but dude...nut up

I can't believe this is only a 2 possession game at this point.

Legendary Eagles tight end Greg Olsen in the booth today.

Bouye playing lights out today!

That rant was beautiful. Just 9 minutes of poetry. I don't know why, but I have an unnatural love for when a sports personality gets to genuinely put on their "fan" hat and just vent like they were amongst friends.

Tommy Tremble! Good things happen when China Hubbard isn't touching the ball.

I. fuging. Love. Spooky halloween-time movies. I start planning my Halloween night movie playlist in June, and I get visibly giddy once September rolls around. Halloween Party Background Pick: Viy (Soviet, 1967) (YouTube) It's in Ukrainian, so you don't need to try to follow it at a party. Just have it on in the background and enjoy the awesomely cheesy special effects that are good for some yucks, and some a really creepy. Plus young Natalya Varley is a smoke show. Enjoyably Bad Sit Down and Watch Party Pick: Chopping Mall (1986) I mean...what else do you need to know? Okay, you still need more? Barbara Crampton's boobs. What I'll definitely be watching: Exorcist III: Legion (1990) It's so fuging good. And the cast is maybe the best horror movie cast ever. Will probably be on TV at some point. Don't skip it: Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) What a strange, strange movie. With no Michael Myers, and an absolutely bonkers plot. But boy oh boy, it really doesn't skimp on the Halloween spirit. Best Homage to Halloween III: The Guest (2014) It's not great. But more people should see it. Plus, young Dan Stevens is a smoke show.