Captroop

Just wanted to share this photo from my street on July 4th: First, because it was such an amazing time. I've not been to a fireworks show that I enjoyed more than this; literally hundreds of people lighting off fireworks in the street. There was a fireworks booth at the end of our block, and we just kept that poo going for like 3 hours. Second, because this photo is just so perfectly composed, it looks like something from the cover of a newspaper.

I have a dive watch, and when I wear it, the Bezel must ALWAYS be set at 12. If it's set at 11:59, fug that, I gotta spin it all the way back around and set it at 12. The inscription on my wedding band has to be right, side up when I put it on. Cells in Excel have to be a whole number in width. TV volume is always set in increments of 5. Although clearly that doesn't apply to car radio, because that's usually 11 to 13. But the one I find to be the strangest: I'll spend 30 minutes deciding whether it's worth it to spend the extra money on the $24.99 pair of dress pants at TJ Maxx that I like versus the $18.99 pair that doesn't fit as well, on a pair of pants I'll wear for the next 3 years. But then after that I'll go to a bar and have no hesitation ordering another $6 beer that I'll piss out 20 minutes later.

Okay, I submit this challenge to you all. See if you can understand any of what's being said in this song without looking up the lyrics:

Blinded by the light Revved Wrapped up like a deuce douche Another runner rumor in the night No matter how many I times I hear it, and no matter how certain I am of the real lyrics, I can't hear it any other way. Or more recently: My house in Budapest My hidden treasure chest, Golden grand piano My beautiful CastilloYou You I'd leave it all Ah-doofy-doh.

Archery Tag. This is a thing.

Ugh, I'm not sure I want to experience the digital age's answer to "grunge."

Yeah, Dulles is the money airport in DC. I wouldn't complain. You could be flying out of Reagan, and then you've just got a bagel place, and a magazine stand that sells egg salad sandwiches. Try that for 13 hours.

Just wanted to throw out a quick progress report; yesterday, I bought size 34 Levis jeans. I have been size 36x32 since my growth spurt in high school, with occasional flexing up to size 38 in the winter months. After more than 10 years of this, I honestly thought that no matter how much weight I lost, my waistline could never be smaller than a 36. I can't express in words how excited and happy I was the moment I was able to button those bad boys up! And it's only May! I'm gonna be in the best shape of my life this summer. Hope to flatten out my upper body with cardio, and then pack on some muscle in the weight room. My diet and exercise plan has been the following: Soup or salad rather than a dinner-sized-portion for lunch. The "Game of Thrones" plan: I got an HBO Go account, and have watched every second of Game of Thones while on the elliptical in the gym in my apartment building. It's great incentive to get my ass moving an hour a day. Finally, my wife went vegan about a month ago, and it's so easy to avoid junk food when you aren't mutually enabling each other. Going just by weight, I thought I wasn't making much progress, as I've only lost about 10 pounds according to my scale. But the fact that I can now shop for pants at H&M speaks volume.

That's a fuggin tragic statement. I can't believe that what was once literally the single most important aspect of the genre has taken a back seat to something that can be done by Skrillex. Go listen to the Marshall Mathers LP (it blows my mind that you were 2 years old when it came out), Illmatic, Minstrel Show, and College Dropout. Like right now. Drop everything and go do it. My goodness. That's literally a "kids these day!" moment for me.

...really? I would completely flip that statement around. Rihanna's voice is so bad you can literally hear the auto-tune struggling to correct it. I mean I hear her trying to hold that note in "Stay" and the whole time I'm just thinking, "Nooo! That auto-tuner was just 1 week away from retirement!"

Every era has bad music. The reason old music seem better is because no one remembers the bad music from the 60s and the 70s; the 1% songs that are worth remembering are the ones that get air time on oldies/classic rock stations. And only about half of those are any good. I for one, am getting more nostalgic about the music in the 90s, and I realized that's because I've forgotten almost all of it, and the hundred 90s songs or so that I play on rotation are all that I remember, so it seems like a golden era. "Oh, man! The 90s had Oasis, and the GooGoo Dolls, and No Doubt, Eminem was blowing up, and fuggin Nirvana, man! 90s music was so much better!" Sometimes I forget that the 90s also produced Aqua and Sisqo. It's our job to weather the storm of modern bad music, and push the next generation to recognize good music moderns artists are putting out to ensure that the 99% of crappy music is gladly forgotten. Music isn't getting worse, you're just getting to be more discerning. Make sure the next generation learns to do likewise, so they can look back on their Bieber fandom and think to themselves, "Why the hell was I listening to this tripe?"

No one is willing to watch it again.

Okay, seriously, I'm stumped. What exactly are you supposed to put in his mouth?

This was in my Facebook feed; I love my friends:

Baby spinach, edamame, cranberries. Romaine, sliced grilled chicken, southwest veggie mix, Frank's Red Hot.

I was about to say, in what world does a diet coke cost $22?

I'll say 3-5 times, unless I have an uh-oh after Chipotle.

Adam Hughes badassery: Best comic book artist alive if you ask me.

Wow, that guy pretty unashamedly rips off Adam Hughes' style.

That's bogus. What size condom you buy has nothing to do with your junk. I mean' it's been roundly proven that like 99% of guys don't hang enough dong that they require a Magnum vs. a standard condom. It's just totally a vanity thing. If anything it just proves that people in those states are the most vain and insecure. Oh, wait...I'm from the District of Columbia... Yeah, fug all that poo I just said. This is totally true!

Did he peel out when he left?

BTW, I just realized Stamper is CJ the Security Guard from the 2004 Dawn of the Dead. I knew I recognized him from somewhere! The redneck beard threw me off.